God... let this be it.


Haven Hamilton: What a surprise. Julie Christie.
Connie White: Who's Julie Christie?
Haven Hamilton: Who's Julie Christie? She's a star. She's won an Academy Award.
Connie White: Oh!
Haven Hamilton: No, I'm not kiddin'. For one of those pictures. I don't know which one. She's done so many.
Connie White: Isn't he a gem? He's got the worst sense of humor.
Haven Hamilton: No, she's lovely.
Connie White: Oh, come on. She can't even comb her hair.

Rachel Phelps: Any ideas?
Charlie Donovan: On how we can get worse?
Rachel Phelps: Mmmmm...
Charlie Donovan: How about a series of fines for good play? Maybe a $30,000 bonus to the guy voted Least Valuable Player.
Rachel Phelps: Maybe the problem is... we're coddling these guys too much. Yeah!

This ginger needs her jiggle juice!


[while performing] Girls, tell me something... Are these pants a bit too tight?

Alex Fletcher

Jenko: What? Co-ed bathrooms!
Schmidt: Fuck! I'm not gonna take a shit the entire time we're here.

Dr. Schiller: Yes I was saying that we're dealing with a megalomaniacal personality with possible paranoid schizo...
John McClane: Hey, hey! How 'bout you just skip down to the part where you tell me what the fuck this has to do with me.

Jonathan Carnahan: Die you mummy bastards. Die.
Mad Dog Maguire: There is no call for bad language.

You can serve Germany, or the Fuhrer. Not both!

Col. Claus von Stauffenberg

Alex? If you think you're having a heart attack and you're going to die, call me first, okay? No use wasting money on the bus if you're just gonna be dead when I get here.

Emma Dinsmore

Derek, have you got your cup on? Because I will hit you there.

Fred Simmons

Prissy: Mammy, here's Miss Scarlet's vittles.
Scarlett: You can take it all back to the kitchen; I won't eat a bite.
Mammy: Yes'm you is, you's gonna eat every mouthful of this.
Scarlett: No... I'm... NOT.

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