Kasey: Except, it's gonna cost us $2,000.
Darcy: Do I have the letters 'A-T-M' tatooed on my forehead?
Torrance Shipman: I was thinking more D-A-D-D-Y.

Arthur Hutchins: Night mommy.
Christine Collins: [yelling] Stop calling me that! I'm not your mother! I want my son back! Damn You!

Neville Flynn: So... you are pretty good at this game, right?
Troy: Yes, man! No problem. I mean, my older brother Randy's got the high score, but I'm good. Asshole, never lets me hear the end of it.

Mr. Ryan: Who was Joan of Arc?
Bill: Noah's wife?

Detective Rosewood: You know what I keep thinking about? You know the end of Butch Cassidy? Redford and Newman are almost out of ammunition, and the whole Bolivian army is out- out in front of this little hut?
Sergeant Taggart: Billy, I'm gonna make you pay for this.

Lord Wessex: I have spoken with your father.
Viola De Lesseps: So, my lord? I speak with him every day.

Principal Harbert: People, June is just around the corner, let's talk graduation speakers. Ideas?
Shaun: Toni Morrison, she's in town that same weekend for a book signing. She's won the Nobel Prize.
Principal Harbert: Interesting... Dana, didn't you say you have a cousin who was friends with Britney spears?

You know, this necklace makes me think of this totally random memory of my mother. I was a little kid, and I was crying for one reason or another. And she was cradling me, rocking me back and forth, and I can just remember the silver balls rolling around. And there was like snot running down my nose. And she offered me her sleeve and told me to blow my nose into it. And I can remember, even as a little kid, thinking to myself, this is love... this is love.

Andrew Largeman

[referring to the Hitchhiker] I think we just picked up Dracula.


Penny Escher: And I suppose you smoked all these cigarettes?
Karen Eiffel: No, they came pre-smoked.

I have a slight inferiority complex.

James Bond

Kimmy Wallace: He sucks soup through his front teeth.
Julianne Potter: That's a trademark move - don't touch that one.
Kimmy Wallace: But he sure can kiss.

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