Alice: Who are you?
Pamela Voorhees: Why I'm... I'm Mrs. Voorhees, an old friend of the Christys'.

Viola De Lesseps: Master Shakespeare?
William Shakespeare: The same, alas.
Viola De Lesseps: Oh, but why "alas"?
William Shakespeare: A lowly player.
Viola De Lesseps: Alas indeed, for I thought you the highest poet of my esteem and writer of plays that capture my heart.
William Shakespeare: Oh - I am him too!

Norm: The place is surging with girls.
John: Please, sir, sir, can I have one to surge me, sir, please, sir?
Norm: No, you can't!

It's a UNIX system! I know this!


Who do you think you are...a Kennedy? You're a Bush. Act like one.

George Herbert Walker Bush

I am gonna get me some rat!


There are thousands of them and they are pissed!


Bart: Sun even shines on a dog's ass some days.
Greenie: You gettin' a dog?

Guy in bathroom: Hey, you're in the Army, yes?
Dignan: No, I just have short hair.

Last time I saw your mother she said she never wanted to see me again.

Sam Carmichael

In my day, we did it all with a snorkel and flippers.

John Mason

Sidney Prescott: Oh, my God. Randy I thought you were dead.
Randy: I probably should be. I never thought I'd be so happy to be a virgin.

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