Nobody knows this mall better than I do.

Paul Blart

It's like every morning I wake up and I FAIL!

Rita

Frank: Ara again? You gonna get an autographed picture and kiss it every night before you go to bed?
Rudy: What is your problem?
Frank: Or maybe he'll give you permission to wipe his ass.

Our love is God, let's go get a Slushie.

J.D.

Have you forgotten how to drink that? First, you bring it to your lips. Then you blow it. Then you suck.

Bree

Cassie: Are you scared?
Capa: When a Stellar Bomb is triggered, very little will happen at first -and then a spark, will pop into existance, and it will hang for an instant, hovering in space and then, it will split into two, and those will split again, and again, and again... detonation beyond all imaging - the big bang on a small scale. - a new star born out of a dying one... I think it will be beautiful... No, i'm not scared
Cassie: ...I am.

Raoul Duke: Yeah. Hi there! My name... is, uh, Raoul Duke. I'm on the list, that's for sure. Here to cover the race. I have my attorney... with me, and I realize that his name is not on that list, but we must have that suite! What's the score here? What's next?
Frog-Eyed Woman: Your suite isn't ready yet. But someone was looking for you...

Tristan: [dazed just after returning to human form] Victoria!
Yvaine: I think I preferred "Mother."

You know, I have a theory that hieroglyphics are just an ancient comic strip about a character named Sphinxy.

Harry Burns

Scarlett: Cathleen, Who's that?
Cathleen Calvert: Who?
Scarlett: That man looking at us and smiling? The nasty dark one?
Cathleen Calvert: My dear don't you know? Thats Rhett Butler! He's from Charleston, he has the most terrible reputation!
Scarlett: He looks as if he knows what I look like without my shimmy

[Borden is explaining how he used a double in his act]
Alfred Borden: What I didn't count on was that, when I incorporated this bloke into my act, he had complete power over me.
Gerald Root: Complete power, you say?

When you're in love with a married man, you shouldn't wear mascara.

Fran Kubelik

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