Old man, you give those dogs another piece of my food and I'm gonna kick you 'til you're dead!

Rose

Ennis Del Mar: Hard work is it?
Cassie Cartwright: Drunks like you, demandin' beer after beer. Smokin'. Gets tiresome.
Cassie Cartwright: So... What do you do Ennis Del Mar?
Ennis Del Mar: Earlier today I was castrating calves.
Cassie Cartwright: Ugh.

Reporter: What would you call that hairstyle you're wearing?
George: Arthur.

SFC Cunningham: Why weren't you in the pros making stacks of cash and getting your toes licked by beautiful women?
Lionel Prichard: 'Cause he has another record most people don't know about. He has the minor league strikeout record.
Merrill: Hello Lionel.
Lionel Prichard: Merrill's a class-A screw up. He would just swing that bat as hard as he could every time. Didn't matter what the coaches said, didn't matter who was on base. He would just whip that bat through the air as hard as he could. Looked like a lumberjack chopping down a tree. Merrill here has more strikeouts than any two players.
SFC Cunningham: You really got the strikeout record?
Merrill: Felt wrong not to swing.

Hunter: Chief of the Boat.
Chief of the Boat: Sir?
Hunter: Thank you, COB.
Chief of the Boat: Thank you? Fuck you! Get it straight, Mr. Hunter, I'm not on your side. Now you could be wrong! But wrong or right, the Captain can't just replace you at will. That was completely improper. And that's why I did what I did. By the book.
Hunter: I thank you anyway.

General Allenby: [the British army staff is having a field briefing] Very well, gentlemen. The cavalry's gone through Mazril and Deraa. Very good, by the way, very good indeed. Now your turn. Artilery general, field briefing: Well, sir, if the enemy's retreating in any kind of order - which we'd better assume... General Allenby: Certainly. Artilery general, field briefing: ...Then they can't be further than this Mallud place. In which case I can have them within range by... 0900 hours tomorrow? General Allenby: Splendid! Phillip. Infantry general, field briefing: Well, these Infantry general, field briefing: are the last of the infantry supports coming up now, sir. But Mallud... could have the fusilliers there by... Wednesday, sir? General Allenby: That'll do for now. The guns are what matter! Any questions? Cavalry general, field briefing: This Arab army on the right, sir - what's it consist of? Colonel Brighton: Irregular cavalry, sir. About two thousand. Cavalry general, field briefing: Where are they now? Colonel Brighton: Can only know that by being with them, sir. General Allenby: Then get with them, Harry! I want to know. Colonel Brighton: Yes, sir. General Allenby: Pound them, Charley - General Allenby: POUND THEM!

Collector: You're mucking with a G, you fuckin' tracer.
Banky Edwards: I'll trace a chalk line around your dead fucking body, you fuck!

Big Earl: [Starsky tries to bribe Big Earl] I'll tell you what, I do like your blonde friend here. Let me see your belly button.
Hutch: No. Let's go.
[hangs up the phone]
Starsky: Hold on a second. The guy's obviously a freak. Just show him a little skin. Show him your stomach. Nobody's here.
Big Earl: Are we cool?
Starsky: Yes, we're cool.
Big Earl: [Hutch shows his stomach] Oh, eureka. God, that's nice. It's like a little bowl of oatmeal with a hole in it. I got one too. I just got a little more brown sugar on mine.

Reporter: Mr. Carter, now that you're free, are you still going to be "The Hurricane"
Rubin 'Hurricane' Carter: Oh, I'll always be the "Hurricane," and a hurricane is beautiful.

Woody: Hey, w-wait, What happened? What happens next? Come on, let's see the next episode!
Stinky Pete the Prospector: That's it.
Woody: What?
Stinky Pete the Prospector: The show was cancelled after that.
Woody: Wait, wait, wait. What about the gold mine and... and the cute little critters and the dynamite? That was a great show! I mean, why cancel it?
Stinky Pete the Prospector: Two words: Sput-nik. Once the astronauts went up, children only wanted to play with space toys.
Woody: I know how that feels.

You know who you are and I know what you're not.

Tobin Frost

She called me and asked for my number.

Steve Stifler

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