J.D.: Wanna go out tonight? Catch a movie? Miniature golf?
Veronica Sawyer: I was thinking more along the lines of slitting Heather Duke's wrists open, making it look like suicide.
J.D.: Ah, now you're talking. I can be up for that. I've already started underlining meaningful passages in her copy of Moby Dick, if you know what I mean.

Did you just let SCREECH in the fucking club?

Ricky Slade

Maybe I'm not meant to see.


Natalie Hegalhuzen: So you want to seduce the journalist whose politics you despise?
Brand Hauser: How dare you. I have no politics.

Storm: I love what you've done with your hair!
Beast: You too.

No intensity, no victory.

Christina Pagniacci

Al Powell: You ain't pissing in somebody's pool, are you?
John McClane: Yeah, and I'm fresh out of chlorine.

Don't write this down, but I find Milton probably as boring as you find Milton. Mrs. Milton found him boring too. He's a little bit long-winded, he doesn't translate very well into our generation, and his jokes are terrible.


Hey, ladies, wanna see my spirit stick?


Cher: You can't be the absolute and final word on drivers' licenses.
Driving Instructor: Girlie, as far as you're concerned, I am the messiah of the DMV.

You know how women lie.

Skinny Dubois

You have to leave or you're going to die.

Jake Sully

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