Ashley Albright: Jake is the guy I kissed at the masquerade bash.
Dana: No!
Ashley Albright: Yes.
Dana: No!
Ashley Albright: Yes!

I don't think I am going to say, "What the fuck" anymore.

Joel Goodson

Dawn Campbell: Why don't you like my spots?
Marty: Honey, this look is hurting you, and it's hurting Huckabees.
Dawn Campbell: This is myself.
Marty: Then you won't speak at the benefit as yourself. That is not Huckabees.
Dawn Campbell: I am still Huckabees.
Marty: Not in that bonnet.
Dawn Campbell: It's in my eyes, Marty. It's like that story of the cave.
Marty: What in God's name is happening to you? We trusted you. We took care of you. We made you into a national icon. Pulled you out of a mall. Eh, you've been given everything by Huckabees.
Dawn Campbell: Fuck-a-bees!

Lelaina: I just don't understand why things just can't go back to normal at the end of the half hour like on the Brady Bunch or something.
Troy Dyer: Well, 'cause Mr. Brady died of AIDS. Things don't turn out like that.

Well, hello there, Mr. Neff.

Building attendant

Nieman, you're done.

Terence Fletcher

Johnny Hooker: Hey where's June?
Loretta: She quit. I'm filling in for a few days till I can get a train outta here.
Johnny Hooker: Ya? Where ya going?
Loretta: I don't know, depends on which train I get on.

Sergeant: [Three of Andy's army men are preparing to jump out the window with parachutes] We've done our duty. Andy's grown up.
Soldier: Let's face it. When the trash bags come out, we army guys are the first to go.
Buzz Lightyear: Trash bags?
Woody: Who said anything about trash bags?
Sergeant: It has been an honor serving with you. Good luck, folks.
[they jump out]

Sherman Schrader: Right, you date Monica Morlan
Hoyt Ambrose: That I do
Sherman Schrader: Right, I think of her while I masturb...

If you awaken that beast, you'll destroy us all!

Bard the Bowman

Duh duh... duh duh... duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh... Salsa shark! We're gonna need a bigger boat! Man goes into cage, cage goes into salsa. Shark's in the salsa. Our shark.

Randal Graves

Woody: Hey, w-wait, What happened? What happens next? Come on, let's see the next episode!
Stinky Pete the Prospector: That's it.
Woody: What?
Stinky Pete the Prospector: The show was cancelled after that.
Woody: Wait, wait, wait. What about the gold mine and... and the cute little critters and the dynamite? That was a great show! I mean, why cancel it?
Stinky Pete the Prospector: Two words: Sput-nik. Once the astronauts went up, children only wanted to play with space toys.
Woody: I know how that feels.

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