Come on, don't try this "Good Cop-Bad Cop" crap on me. I practically invented it. So what if some homo actor is dead? Boys, girls, ten of them step off the bus to L.A. every day.

Ellis Loew

Wendy: We're really worried about this affair with your boss.
Jules: I don't know why you're both so worried... So, I bop him for a couple of years, get his job when he gets his hands caught in the vault, do a black mink ad, retire in utter disgrace, then write a best seller and be a fabulous host on my own talk show...

Look at me! I'm a doe and I'm a buck. I'm a DUCK!

Elliot

Director Gordon: And you say that he can dance?
Nora: He's... adequate.
Tyler Gage: Adequate?
Director Gordon: See. That's my concern. He's not taking this seriously.
Tyler Gage: Look, I'm sorry. It's just... ya'll are talking about dancing like it's rocket science or something.
Nora: It's just for a couple of weeks. Until Andrew gets better.
Tyler Gage: Yeah.
Director Gordon: This would be your risk Nora. It's your Senior piece.
Nora: I know.
Director Gordon: Well, don't make me regret my decision.
Nora: [talking to Tyler] 2:30 tomorrow. Bring your tights.
Tyler Gage: Tights? Wait. What?

If it was good news, he would've called us.

Ethel Shatford

Paul Rusesabagina: I am glad that you have shot this footage and that the world will see it. It is the only way we have a chance that people might intervene.
Jack: Yeah and if no one intervenes, is it still a good thing to show?
Paul Rusesabagina: How can they not intervene when they witness such atrocities?
Jack: I think if people see this footage they'll say, "oh my God that's horrible," and then go on eating their dinners.
[pause]
Jack: What the hell do I know?

I can do it with minimal casualties to the indigenous. We'll clear them out with gas first. It'll be humane. More or less.

Col. Quaritch

Coach Norman Dale: You know, if everyone is as nice as you, country hospitality is gonna get an awful name.
Myra Fleener: What a pleasant thing to say.

Veronica, why are you pulling my dick?

Heather Duke

Some people hear their own inner voices with great clearness and they live by what they hear. Such people become crazy, or they become legends.

One Stab

Jake: The team? You guys are fuckin' insane. All right, I'll go back to the Valley. I'll cut parking tickets. Why does it have to be this way?
Alonzo: I'm sorry I exposed you to it, but it is. It's ugly, but it's necessary... Sometimes you gotta have a little dirt on you for anybody to trust you.

Keith Richards: [From trailer] Mr. Waters. We're big fans. We named our band after one of your songs.
Muddy Waters: Yeah?
Keith Richards: Rolling Stone.

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