Jovie: How come you were in the women's locker room this morning?
Buddy: I heard you singing.
Jovie: Are you sure it had nothing to do with the fact that I was naked in the shower?
Buddy: I didn't know you were naked.
Frankly, we're a little mimed out.Reese Feldman
Constance Harraway: The TA just finished transcribing all the governor's radio and TV comments. Listen to this gem: Journalist - "Governor, don't you think three executions in one week is a little excessive?" Governor - "I say let's bring them in, strap them down, and rock and roll."
David Gale: Oh, it's good to know our governor is in touch with his inner frat boy.
Area 51 Guard: I'm sorry, Captain. This is a restricted area. I can't let you pass without clearance.
Captain Steven Hiller: Okay. Come here. You wanna see my clearance? [shows the alien wrapped in parachute] Maybe I'll just leave this here with you.
Area 51 Guard: Let them pass! Let them pass!
Donny: They posted the next round for the tournament.
Walter Sobchak: Donny, shut the f- when do we play?
Bill: Be excellent to each other.
Ted: Party on, dudes!
You can't hurt me anymore!The Cabinet Lady
JB: What's it gonna be Kyle? You have to decide... Tits... or Destiny.
KG: [Lifting up his shirt] Tits.
Captain Dana Holmes: You know why you were assigned to G Company?
Robert E. Lee "Prew' Prewitt: No, sir.
Captain Dana Holmes: I pulled a few strings. I'm the regimental boxing coach, you know.
Robert E. Lee "Prew' Prewitt: Yes, sir.
Captain Dana Holmes: I saw your fight with Connors in the Bowl, year before last. You should've won it.
Robert E. Lee "Prew' Prewitt: Thank you, sir.
Captain Dana Holmes: Our regiment got beaten in the finals last December, but I mean to win this year. All I've needed is a top middleweight.
Robert E. Lee "Prew' Prewitt: I'm sorry, sir. I quit fighting.
Captain Dana Holmes: Quit fighting? When? What for?
Robert E. Lee "Prew' Prewitt: Well, over a year ago. Maybe you heard about what happened with Dixie Wells?
Captain Dana Holmes: You mean that fellow that got hurt?
Robert E. Lee "Prew' Prewitt: Yes sir.
Captain Dana Holmes: Yes, I heard about that. It's too bad. I can understand how you feel, but those things happen.
Robert E. Lee "Prew' Prewitt: That's WHY I decided I would quit, sir.
Captain Dana Holmes: You might as well say stop war because one man got killed!
Bend and snap.Elle
Mayor Vaughn: Any special questions?
Denherder: Uh, is that $3000 bounty on the shark in cash or check?
Mrs. Taft: I don't think that's funny. I don't think that's funny at all, I'm sorry.
We got personality, with a capital Y. Why? Because we're hot!RamÃ³n