Captain Billy Tyne: Bugs, how you making out?
Mike "Bugsy" Moran: I'm not. I don't know. Maybe I smell like fish.
Captain Billy Tyne: Maybe you need a new deodorant.
Mike "Bugsy" Moran: Maybe I need a new face.
Nightcrawler: You know, outside the circus, most people were afraid of me. But I didn't hate them. I pitied them. Do you know why? Because most people will never know anything beyond what they see with their own two eyes.
Storm: Well, I gave up on pity a long time ago.
Nightcrawler: Someone so beautiful should not be so angry.
Storm: Sometimes anger can help you survive.
Nightcrawler: So can faith
Gwen: Well I think it takes a lot more then the kind of underwear one wears to define them as a person.
[Van looks shocked]
Van Wilder: Like what?
Michael Newman: [trying to convince him to let the project be procrastinated so he can go camping] Three days? Couldn't I have a little more time for this project?
Ammer: Michael, our clients are Japanese. They can't wait for their fish to cook.
Dark Helmet: What did you do? You turned it off!
Colonel Sandurz: Turned off what? I just turned off the screen.
Dark Helmet: No, you didnt! You turned off the movie!
Detective Richie Roberts: My investigation indicates that Frank Lucas is above the Mafia.
District Attorney: Who does he work for? Which family?
Detective Richie Roberts: He's not Italian, he's black.
District Attorney: No black man has accomplished what the American Mafia hasn't in a hundred years!
Dennis Nedry: Dodgson!
Lew Dodgson: You shouldn't use my name.
Dennis Nedry: Dodgson, Dodgson, we've got Dodgson here! Nobody cares. Nice hat. What are you trying to look like, a secret agent?
Doyle: I think you gentlemen should accompany me back to the Yard.
[Cut to Roy and Chon in a cell at Scotland Yard]
Roy: This isn't a yard! It's a JAIL!
Dante Hicks: Can you feel it?
Randal Graves: Feel what?
Dante Hicks: Today is the first day of the rest of our lives.
[taking time to thoroughly taste the earthworm he has just eaten] Subtle... Zesty? Disgusting.Roux
Sometimes I think, I think all three of us got in that car...Sean Devine
Hold on! No fucking way! You fuckin' notice this? I got fuckin' shot! I got fuckin' shot in the face! I went and got the fuckin' money; I got shot fuckin' picking it up. I've been up for thirty-six fucking hours! I'm taking' that fuckin' car! That fucker's mine! You fucking asshole!Carl Showalter