Lou [shouting from a rooftop to the '80s teenagers below]: "Hey, John Lennon gets shot!...
[To himself:] Wait, did that happen yet?"

Ed: See? You don't need Liz to have a good time.
Shaun: Oh, don't, man.
Ed: No! Go ahead, look at me. Can I just say one more thing? I'm not gonna say, you know, there's plenty more fish in the sea. I'm not going to say if you love her, let her go. And I'm not going to bombard you with clichÈs. But what I will say is this?
[chuckling]
Ed: It's not the end of the world.

Holly Kennedy: What do you think?
Daniel Connelly: I think you're hot!
Holly Kennedy: [gasps]
Daniel Connelly: Sorry, I have a syndrome.

Look at you, swanning around like you're Al Capone.

Forrest Bondurant

Jedediah: Fire up the iron horse, boys.
Larry: Hey, blondie!
Jedediah: Names Jedadiah.
Larry: Jedadiah, stop the train, please!
Jedediah: No can do, crackerjack.
Larry: Whats going on here?
Jedediah: Somebodys got to pay.
Larry: Pay for what?
Jedediah: I don't know, just pay! Now stop whining and take it like a man!
Larry: Seriously, stop the train!
Jedediah: Alright, stop the train.
Larry: Thank you.
Jedediah: NOW FULL SPEED AHEAD AND RAM HIM! SPLIT HIS HEAD LIKE A WATERMELON!
Larry: [Train hits Larry] Ooh! Ow...
Jedediah: Oh, for crying out loud!

Young Noah: What am I gonna do in New York?
Young Allie: ...Be with me.

If there's one thing I know, it's never to mess with mother nature, mother in-laws and, mother freaking Ukrainians.

Skinny Pete

That's ludicrous - The great state of Vermont will not apologize for its cheese!

Senator Ortolan Finistirre

Am I supposed to come up with the questions, too?

Minny Jackson

Matt Farrell: [re: large explosion] Did you see that?
John McClane: Yeah I saw it. I did it!

Janis: What's that smell?
Cady: Oh, um... Regina gave me some parfume
Janis: You smell like a baby prostitute
Cady: Cady: Thanks!

Billy Madison: [shouting] Where's my snack pack?
Juanita: You got a banana, you don't need no snack pack.

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