Female Neighbor: Excuse me? Excuse me. Never sleep with that man, never loan him money, and never believe a word he tells you. That's free advice.
Vincent Benedict: Morning, Agnes.

May God have mercy on Anne's soul.

King Henry VIII

If you were the only suspect in a senseless bloodbath - would you be standing in the horror section?


Hey, we're closed.

Randal Graves

Rufus: I'm telling you, man, this ceremony is a big mistake.
Cardinal Glick: The Catholic Church does not make mistakes.
Rufus: Please. What about the Church's silent consent to the slave trade?
Bethany: And its platform of non-involvement during the Holocaust?
Cardinal Glick: All right, mistakes were made.

Eight hundred leaf-tables and no chairs? You can't sell leaf-tables and no chairs. Chairs, you got a dinette set. No chairs, you got dick!

Nathan Arizona Sr.

If you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything.

Marty McFly

Violet Beauregarde: Well, they can't be real people.
Willy Wonka: Why, of course they're real people.
Mr. Salt: Stuff and nonsense!
Willy Wonka: No, Oompa Loompas.
The Group: Oompa Loompas?
Willy Wonka: From Loompaland.
Mrs. Teevee: Loompaland? There's no such place.
Willy Wonka: Excuse me, dear lady, but...
Mrs. Teevee: Mr. Wonka, I am a teacher of geography.
Willy Wonka: Oh, well, then you know all about it and what a terrible country it is. Nothing but desolate wastes and fierce beasts. And the poor little Oompa Loompas were so small and helpless, they would get gobbled up right and left. A Wangdoodle would eat ten of them for breakfast and think nothing of it. And so, I said, "Come and live with me in peace and safety, away from all the Wangdoodles, and Hornswogglers, and Snozzwangers, and rotten, Vermicious Knids."
Mr. Salt: Snozzwangers? Vermicious Knids? What kind of rubbish is that?
Willy Wonka: I'm sorry, but all questions *must* be submitted in writing. And so, in the greatest of secrecy, I transported the entire population of Oompa Loompas to my factory here.
Veruca Salt: Hey, Daddy, *I* want an Oompa Loompa! I want you to get me an Oompa Loompa right away!
Mr. Salt: All right, Veruca, all right. I'll get you one before the day is out.
Veruca Salt: I want an Oompa Loompa now!
Violet Beauregarde: Can it, you nit!

God, I thought I was in Israel. I don't know why. Certainly not the decor, was it? Must have been dreaming. I was there for about a year on a kibbutz. I was feeling very romantic about that kind of socialism at the time. I thought I'd like to have a bash at it.


Few people understand the psychology of dealing with a highway traffic cop. A normal speeder will panic and immediately pull over to the side. This is wrong. It arouses contempt in the cop heart. Make the bastard chase you. He will follow. But he won't know what to make of your blinker signal that says you are about to turn right. This is to let him know you're pulling off for a proper place to talk. It will take him a moment to realize that he's about to make a 180 degree turn at speed, but you will be ready for it. Brace for the g's, and fast heel-toe work.

Raoul Duke

Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: You gotta ask them questions, and listen to what they have to say and shit.
Steve Stifler: I dunno, man, that sounds like a lot of work.

It's like my mom says, "The weak are always trying to sabatoge the strong."

Tracy Flick

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