Say, did you hear about the person of the Polish persuasion who walked into a bar with a big 'ol pile of shit in his hands and he says, "Look what I almost stepped in"?

Glen

Sloth: Mama!
Mama Fratelli: Come to mama Slothy, come on hmm?
Sloth: Mama, you've been bad.
Mama Fratelli: Oh, Slothy. I may have been bad. I may have kept you chained up in that room but it was for your own good.
Sloth: Yeah!
Mama Fratelli: You remember that song I used to sing to you?
Sloth: Yeah!
Mama Fratelli: You were little back then?
Mama Fratelli: Rock-a-bye baby on the tree top. When the wind blows the cradle will rock. When the bough breaks the cradle will fall...
Sloth: Break! Fall!
Mama Fratelli: No! I only dropped once.
Sloth: Ahh!
Mama Fratelli: Well, maybe twice. No Sloth! Put me down!

Huggy Bear: I am an urban informer. I am not a snitch.
Starsky: Come on Huggy, what's the difference?
Huggy Bear: A snitch wears a wire. A snitch is the scum of the information industry.

Carl Denham: $2,000 is a deal. Will you take a check?
Captain Englehorn: Do I have a choice?

Captain Frye: You changed the coordinates, didn't you, General?
General Hummel: That's affirmative, Captain.
Sergeant Crisp: So now they think we're gutless, the feds? They think we won't actually do it?
Captain Frye: They're going to come at us with everything they got. Air and sea. They're going to bomb our ass back to the Stone Age.
Major Tom Baxter: They don't know we missed on purpose.
Captain Frye: Great. We're not gutless, we're incompetent.

Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere.

Van Wilder

I vow to live within the warmth of your heart.

Paige

Scottie, do you believe that someone out of the past - someone dead - can enter and take possession of a living being?

Gavin Elster

Walter Crewes: Jack, was that you giggling?
Jack Ryan: Nope. Must have been Number 9.
Walter Crewes: Well, what are you doing sneaking around here?
Jack Ryan: I'm not sneaking around. No, I was just thinking. Sometimes when I'm thinking it looks like I'm sneaking.

Tom Stall: [Seeing Edie walk into his hospital room] Edie... Honey, are you okay?
Edie Stall: Tell me the truth.
Tom Stall: The truth?
Edie Stall: Please, you can do that, can't you? You can do that... can't you, please?
Tom Stall: What do you think you heard?
Edie Stall: It's not what I heard... it's what I saw. I saw Joey. I saw you turn into Joey right before my eyes. I saw a killer, the one Fogarty warned me about. You did kill men back in Philly, didn't you? Did you do it for money? Or did you do it because you enjoyed it?
Tom Stall: Joey did, both. I didn't. Tom Stall didn't.

Pilot: I'd tell you to fasten your seatbelts, but it was too cheap to buy any! Ha ha ha!
Rick O'Connell: Ha ha ha! Why am I laughing?

[first lines]
Kitty: Don't stress. Just relax.
Reese Feldman: I don't understand man, I don't understand. You can lose keys, ya know, you can lose your wallet. How... how do you lose a plane?
Terrence Meyers: Reese, come on. What do you want me to do? You got three out of four planes in. That's still a lot of coke.
Reese Feldman: Now, see that? That's the kind of winning attitude that's gonna take this enterprise straight to the top.

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