[speaking to the priest] This girl's fit for a strait-jacket. I mean she's fucked three ways to the weekend. But you know what, Father? I dig it!Jeremy Grey
Share that with the Dalai Lama, jack ass!Jeremy Grey
Kenny Fisher: I mean peep this - They say here 92 percent of the honeys at UCLA are sexually active. 92 percent of the women in Los Angeles at UCLA walking around going, "Class... or sex? What shall I do?" 92 percent, yo! Hey, you know what that means?
Ritchie Koolboy: What?
Kenny Fisher: It means I gots a 92 percent chance of embarrassing myself. I roll up on that shorty be like, "What's up yo?" she be like, "You don't know 20 different ways to make me call you Big Poppa" cuz I don't yo.
Topper Harley: Colonel, who are they?
Col. Denton Walters: She's CIA. The other man's an extra.
I will not rest until I have you holding a Coke, wearing your own shoe, playing a Sega game *featuring you*, while singing your own song in a new commercial, *starring you*, broadcast during the Superbowl, in a game that you are winning, and I will not *sleep* until that happens. I'll give you fifteen minutes to call me back.Jerry Maguire
Maria Elena: You're still searching for me in every woman.
Juan Antonio: That is not true, Maria Elena. I was in Oviedo some weeks ago with a woman who was the antithesis of you. An American, and something beautiful happened with her. So you're mistaken.
Maria Elena: You'll always seek to duplicate what we had. You know it.
Olive: I'd like to dedicate this to my grandpa, who showed me these moves.
Pageant MC: Aww, that is so sweet.
Pageant MC: Is he here? Where's your grandpa right now?
Olive: In the trunk of our car.
Oh, still stubborn, aren't we? Is that what makes you so special to Edward?James
[half-time speech] I want you to take a moment, and I want you to look each other in the eyes. I want you to put each other in your hearts forever because forever is about to happen here in just a few minutes. I want you to close your eyes, and I want you to think about Boobie Miles, who is your brother. And he would die to be out there in that field with you tonight. And I want you to put that in your hearts. Boys my heart is full. My heart is full.Coach Gary Gaines
Prem Kumar: Final question for twenty million rupees, and he's smiling. I guess you know the answer.
Jamal Malik: Do you believe it, I don't!
Prem Kumar: You don't? So you take the ten million and walk?
Jamal Malik: No. I'll play.
Queen Gorgo: Spartan!
King Leonidas: Yes, my lady?
Queen Gorgo: Come back with your shield, or on it.
King Leonidas: Yes, my lady.
[narrating] When I was young, about eight or so, I tried making friends with God by inviting Him to my house to watch the World Series. He never showed.Jim Carroll