Don't laugh! There's nothin' funny goin' on here!

Derek Vinyard

Sorry, Woody, about your situation. But you're a lying asshole. That's like an asshole's asshole.

Bobby Davis

You're squeezing your boobies out!

Corky St. Clair

But if I'm going to have my own law firm by the time I'm 30, I need a boyfriend who's not such a complete bonehead.

Elle

That's a test? Where were you guys when I did my CPA?

Sammy Jankis

Carlos: You called, Edna? You are a vision as always. Ah, Hello, Alex.
Alexander Scott: Hi, Carlos. How was Cuba?
Carlos: Es... adequate.

Luke: So... you got your reward and you're just leaving then?
Han Solo: That's right, yeah. I got some old debts I've got to pay off with this stuff. Even if I didn't, you don't think I'd be fool enough to stick around here, do you? Why don't you come with us? You're pretty good in a fight. We could use you.

Salvatore Maroni: I thought the D.A. just played golf with the mayor, things like that?
Harvey Dent: Tee off's one-thirty, more than enough time to put you away for life, Sally.

Whitney: She puts the "itch" in "bitch."
Courtney: She puts the "whore" in "horrify."

Trust you? The last time I trusted you, Mookie, I ended up with a son.

Tina

The downside of coming off junk was I knew I would need to mix with my friends again in a state of full consciousness. It was awful. They reminded me so much of myself, I could hardly bear to look at them.

Mark "Rent-boy" Renton

Lady, I will break my foot off in your ass!

Hancock

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