Private Jackson: O my God, I trust in thee: let me not be ashamed, let not mine enemies triumph over me.

I never said I was a golden god... did I?

Russell Hammond

David Skylark: Want to go kill Kim Jong-un?
Aaron Rapoport: Totally! I’d love to assassinate Kim Jonh-un. It’s a date!

Dave: You ball your socks, you floss, and you don't hide booze in the toilet tank.
Dave: [pauses] You live like a Mormon.

The future is now! Soon every American home will integrate their television, phone and computer. You'll be able to visit the Louvre on one channel, or watch female wrestling on another. You can do your shopping at home, or play Mortal Kombat with a friend from Vietnam. There's no end to the possibilities!

Chip Douglas

Aubrey: What are you doing?
Fat Amy: Horizontal running.

Puss in Boots: I am not looking for trouble. I am but a humble gato in search of his next meal. Perhaps you gentlemen can help me find a simple score.
Bartender: Well, perhaps if one of us were to tell the law that you were in town, we could split the reward. (Another man tries to sneak up on Puss with a sword, and fails)
Puss in Boots: You made the cat angry - you no want to make the cat angry!

Colonel Frank Fitts: What did he make you do?
Ricky Fitts: Oh, Dad, you don't really think that me and Mr. Burnham were...
Colonel Frank Fitts: Don't you laugh at me. Now, I will not sit back and watch my only son become a cock-sucker.
Ricky Fitts: Jesus, what is it with you?
Colonel Frank Fitts: I swear to God, I will throw you out of the house and never look at you again.
Ricky Fitts: You mean that?
Colonel Frank Fitts: You're damn straight I do. I'd rather you were dead than be a fuckin' faggot.
Ricky Fitts: You're right. I suck dick for money.

Harold: [awakening from dream after being hit on head] What the hell are you doing? Gawd!
Kumar: You been out cold for the past half an hour. I figured maybe if I did some gay shit, you'd wake up.
Harold: If you did some gay shit? What kinda - where are we? Didn't we come here on a cheetah? Where's the cheetah?
Kumar: It ran away. Listen, forget about the cheetah, okay?

Joe Gillis: [voice-over] You don't yell at a sleepwalker - he may fall and break his neck. That's it: she was still sleepwalking along the giddy heights of a lost career.

Orders are nobody can see the Great Oz! Not nobody, not no how!

Guardian of the Emerald City Gates

I am bringing you back from the dead.

Snow

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