Lisa: Animal.
Tom Witzky: What'd I do this time?
Lisa: Should I tell him?
Maggie Witzky: If you wanna die!
Lisa: Well, your beer-addled sperm still works.

Hey, Rathbone! I was just thinking of a title for my new book. "Roy O'Bannon vs. Little Lord Sissy." Or how about "Roy O'Bannon versus the Man who would be Queen?"

Roy

Claire Standish: Do you know how popular I am? I am so popular. Everybody loves me so much at this school.
Bender: Poor baby.

Butch and me have been talking it all over. Wherever the hell Bolivia is, that's where we're off to.

Sundance Kid

I have the talent, I have the drive.. (got hit by a car) I have to avoid whatever that was.

E.B.

You'd better stop this fight! You ain't nothin' but a bum!

Apollo Creed

Jane's Aunt: Must be so hard to watch your younger sister get married before you.
Jane: Yes. Then I remember that I still get to have hot hate sex with random strangers and I feel SO much better!

Morpheus: How did I beat you?
Neo: You... you're too fast.
Morpheus: Do you believe that my being stronger or faster has anything to do with my muscles in this place? Do you think that's air you're breathing now?

Secundus: [as he overlooks the balcony] I see the kingdom, father. The whole of Stormhold.
King: And...
Secundus: My kingdom?
King: Maybe... Look up.
[Secondus looks up to the sky, the king looks to Septimus. Septimus smiles and pushes Secondus off the balcony]

Oh, hello. You're, uh, you're probably here about the story. Elves love to tell stories. I... I'll bet you didn't know that about elves. There's, uh, probably a lot of things you didn't know about elves. Another, another interesting, uh, elfism, uh, there are only three jobs available to an elf. The first is making shoes at night while, you know, while the old cobbler sleeps.

Papa Elf

And I'll be, like, "What, you don't know fuckin' Jay and Silent Bob? The fuckin' mack daddys of fuckin' Jersey?" And she'll be, like, "Oh, I've read on the Internet that youse guys are a couple of little ... fuckholes!"

Jay

Hamm: Wow. Impressive wingspan. Very good.
Woody: Oh, what? What? These are plastic. He can't fly.
Buzz: They are a terillium-carbonic alloy, and I can fly.
Woody: No, you can't.
Buzz: Yes, I can.
Woody: Can't.
Buzz: Can.
Woody: Can't, can't, ca-an't.
Buzz: I tell you, I could fly around this room with my eyes closed.
Woody: Okay, Mr. Lightbeer, prove it.
Buzz: All right then, I will.

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