Dirk: I can't. I just can't get it hard. I just can't. I'm sorry.
Surfer: You shouldn't do this sorta thing, faggot.

Elle: I promised her, and I can't break the bonds of sisterhood.
Professor Callahan: Screw sisterhood! This is a murder investigation! Not some scandal at the sorority house!

There's a science to getting people to trust you and then you move in for the kill. It's all about emotion, connection.

Nicky

Cockburn, from now on my fist is going to be so far up your shithole that every time you have a thought, it's gonna have to tiptoe past my wedding ring...

Les Grossman

What are we having social hour over here? I'm supposed to be being a bitch.

Jodi

She used her super-intellect on me! She's like Hanibal Lecter.

J.D.

Jason Nesmith: You WILL go out there.
Sir Alexander Dane: I won't and nothing you say will make me.
Jason Nesmith: The show must go on.
Sir Alexander Dane: ...Damn you.

Earl. Here's some swiss cheese and some bullets.

Walter Chang

Kit: You couldn't be more wrong if you called it a Canadian Goose.
Ace: I'll give you a Canadian Goose.

Mayor Kate Hennings: [smacks mosquito] One down, a six million to go.
Earl Smooter: Careful, you just killed the state bird of Alabama!

Jack: Are you still seeing that shrink?
Miles Raymond: I saw him on Monday. I spent most of the time helping him with his computer.
Jack: Well, I say, fuck therapy. And what is that stuff you take... Xanax?
Miles Raymond: And Lexapro, yes.
Jack: Well, I say, fuck that too. You need to get your joint worked on, Miles.

Matt: But then Samnang won't get his money!
Kelly: It's funny, you say that like I care. I don't give a shit!

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