Only my friends can call me a little wop!

Angelo Maggio

Circus Manager: Are you telling me that you were there?
Older Jacob: In the middle of it.

Schmucks are people too.


Julie Mott: I don't eat flesh.
Marcus Burnett: Say what?
Julie Mott: That's flesh that you're shoveling into your mouth. You know, that was, like, a living, breathing creature. You know, it probably had a name.
Marcus Burnett: It's just bologna. My bologna has a first name.

Cammi: And here are your handy wipes.
Jack: Oh, so that's what these are. For a minute there I thought you guys were promoting safe sex.

He met his Waterloo.

James Bond

John Bender: What's that?
Claire Standish: Sushi.
John Bender: Sushi?
Claire Standish: Rice, raw fish, and seaweed.
John Bender: You won't accept a guy's tongue in your mouth, and you're going to eat that?
Claire Standish: Can I eat?
John Bender: I don't know. Give it a try.

Female Reporter: Inspector!
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Yes.
Female Reporter: Yes, what is your initial premise?
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: That Gluant did not want to be killed. Everthing else follows like liquid mercury flowing down a - a - a sloping thing.
Female Reporter: How long do you think it will take to find the killer?
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Right now the killer is being surrounded by a web of deduction, forensic science and the latest in technology such as two-way radios and e-mail.

I don't know how to be no crib on MTV, God only knows, got my mini-me and the GP see how it goes. Evil's all that I see, you ask me my name? D to the rizzo, E to the vizzo, I to the lizzo. I'm a crazy motherfucker, y'all knew that. Austin caught me in the first act, it's all backwards, what's up with that? So I'll make a prophecy from the dogs to the mini-me. Gimme and Escalade, two way, bling-bling on eBay. DOMINO, motherfucker!

Dr. Evil

We figured there was too much happiness here for just the two of us, so we figured havin' a critter was the next logical step.


Sherif Ali: What is your name? T.E. Lawrence: My name is for my friends. None of my friends is a murderer!

Kara Milovy: You were fantastic. We're free. James Bond: Kara, we're inside a Russian airbase in the middle of Afghanistan.

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