Mac: This ain't gonna be easy.
Indiana Jones: Not as easy as it used to be.

Laura: No cussing in your standup.
George Simmons: That takes out half of my act.

General Murray: I can't make out whether you're bloody bad-mannered or just half-witted. T.E. Lawrence: I have the same problem, sir.

You don't know how lucky you are being a monkey. Because consciousness is a terrible curse. I think. I feel. I suffer. And all I ask in return is the opportunity to do my work. And they won't allow it... because I raise issues.

Craig Schwartz

Marianne, can you play something else? Mamma has been weeping since breakfast. I meant something less mournful dearest.

Elinor Dashwood

Why do you think your moves are so grand and noble and I'm always the idiot piece of shit!


Kenny Fisher: Do you, uh... what a drink?
Stoned Girl: Okay.
Kenny Fisher: Uh... how 'bout I poison it?
Stoned Girl: Okay.

Margot: Here, you're gonna need this.
Elle: Your scrunchie?
Margot: My LUCKY scrunchie. It helped me pass Spanish.
Serena: You passed Spanish because you gave Professor Montoya a lap dance after the final.
Margot: Yeah... Luckily!

Christmas is a time for people with someone they love in their lives.

Billy Mack

All right, we'll just get it over with. Hey, Torrance, get over here! My brother wants to check out your rack.


How hard can it be to kill a Wicked Witch?


Nasty Evil Dead Dog

Walter Sparrow

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