Well, I got a bullshit traffic ticket. I went to court, I got the cop on the stand, and I argued with him until he admitted he was wrong. And the judge, this Judge Malloy. All the while he's laughing and smiling. And then afterwards, he asks me to go to lunch with him. Then he says to me, "you know what? You'd be a good litigator." I didn't know what the hell he was talking about, I don't know what a litigator is. I never thought of becoming a lawyer. But this Judge Malloy, who's from Brooklyn, too? He did it, so all of a sudden, it seemed possible. So I went to law school.

Vinny Gambini

Another wedding invitation. And a list. Lovely.

Charles

Prince Akeem: I am Akeem.
Lisa McDowell: It's nice to meet you, Akeem.
Prince Akeem: I have recently been placed in charge of garbage. Do you have any that requires disposal?
Lisa McDowell: No. It's totally empty.
Prince Akeem: When it fills up, call me. I will take it out most urgently.
Lisa McDowell: That's good to know.
Prince Akeem: When you think of garbage, think of Akeem.

Don't talk at me boy as if I've never seen a war!

Colonel Ludlow

If we don't act now, we may not have much of an America left to defend.

Albert Nimzicki

Ron Woodroof: Guess who's going to Mexico, lookin' for a hot date?
Dr. Eve Saks: Do I look like someone who takes vacations?
Ron Woodroof: A little tequila, sunshine and tacos never hurt anybody.

Keith Frazier: Oh, please, do not say proposals... my girlfriend... she wants a proposal from me.
Dalton Russell: You think you're too young to get married?
Keith Frazier: No, I'm not too young... too broke. Maybe I should rob a bank.
Dalton Russell: Do you love each other?
Keith Frazier: Yeah, yeah, we do.
Dalton Russell: Then money shouldn't really matter.
Keith Frazier: Thank you, bank robber!

Can't you just say "hello" like a normal person?

Zukovsky

Helen: Tod?
Tod: Yeah?
Helen: Do you want me to make you breakfast?
Tod: No thanks, Julie will.
Helen: Great.
[then adds under her breath]
Helen: I'll get the fire extinguisher.

Jesse: Told you. Endings are the best part.
Beca: You're such a weirdo.

[to the unsympathetic crowd around Billy's body] He was sweeping you sons of bitches, he was sweeping!

Sonny Crawford

As long as my brother talks this crazy Notre Dame shit, he deserves anything that comes his way!

Frank

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