One minute and five seconds; you are such my bitch.

Alyssa

I didn't know that horse was a diabetic!

Kenny

Edie: Shouldn't everybody care about everybody else?
Terry: Boy, what a fruitcake you are!

Wife Beater: Who in the hell are you?
Bud White: The ghost of Christmas past. Why don't you dance with a man for a change?
Wife Beater: What are you, some kind of smart ass?

Richard Thornburg: But at least the truth, is NOT among the hostages because I, Richard Thornburg, just happen to be here. To put his life and TALENT on the line for humanity and country... and if this should be my final broadcast...
Holly McClane: [uses stun gun on him] Amen to that, Dick!

Eddie: You gotta take this bitch out!
John Smith: Don't tell me how to handle my wife.

Your boy is really tripping.

Liyah

Maximillian 'Max' Shreck: So he survived. What's the worst that could happen?
The Penguin: He didn't even lose a limb! An eyeball! Bladder control!

Do you know what people say about you? They say you are homeschooled jungle freak who's a less hot version of me. So don't try to act all innocent. You can take that fake apology and shove it straight up your hair little a-
[gets hit by bus]

Regina

Schmucks are people too.

Harry

Did you know that if you kill a man in the dead of winter you can see steam rising out of him? The Indians though it was your soul escaping.

Mikita's Manager, Glen

Rob: Why does it have to be Goofy? Why couldn't it be Mickey? Mickey's an icon.
Mike: What do you want? You're tall.

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