Mr. President! Wow! This is... what a pleasure. As you can imagine, they... they don't let us out much.

Dr. Okun

King Jaffe Joffer: Our son cannot consort with such a girl.
Cleo McDowell: Now wait a minute!
King Jaffe Joffer: I know you have been inconvenienced. I am prepared to compensate you. Shall we say one million American dollars?
Cleo McDowell: No way.
King Jaffe Joffer: Very well then. Two million.
Cleo McDowell: You don't have enough money to buy my daughter off.
King Jaffe Joffer: [laughing] Nonsense.
Queen Aoleon: Jaffe, apologize to Mr. McDowell.
King Jaffe Joffer: I will do no such thing. The man is beneath me and so is his daughter.
Cleo McDowell: I don't care who you are. This is America, Jack. Say another word about Lisa, and I'll break my foot off in your royal ass.

Bo Catlett: Mr. Escobar, maybe your nephew panicked and took off.
Mr. Escobar: Why are you talking to me this bullshit? I think maybe I have Ramon and Cesar staple your tongue to your chin! What do you think?
Bo Catlett: I think you speak very good English, Mr. Escobar.

Todd Wolfhouse: We've got to go back and get grandpa's ashes.
Jan Wolfhouse: You go, I'm never leaving this place.

Lucy: My Dad told me to tell you that he's on the phone with his dentist, and that I should behave myself and entertain you until he gets back.
Sydney Ellen Wade: Oh. Your father's on the phone with his dentist?
Lucy: No, he told me to tell you he's on the phone with his dentist. He wants you to think he's a regular guy.
Sydney Ellen Wade: Oh. Well, who's he on the phone with?
Lucy: The prime minister of Israel.

I want to jump in front of every cab I see, because maybe then I'll stop thinking about her.

Albert

[praying] Dear Lord Jesus, I do not often speak with you and ask for things, but now, I really must insist that you help me win the election tomorrow because I deserve it and Paul Metzler doesn't, as you well know. I realize that it was your divine hand that disqualified Tammy Metzler and now I'm asking that you go that one last mile and make sure to put me in office where I belong so that I may carry out your will on earth as it is in heaven. Amen.

Tracy Flick

Pink: Don, have you ever thought about why we play football? How many times have you gotten laid strictly because you're a football player?
Don: I don't know. A few, I guess.

Jim Kurring: This is the LAPD. If there's someone back here...
Marcie: What I tell you? What I tell you? Ain't nobody in there! Where the fuck you goin' motherfuck? Don't go in my motherfuckin' bedroom and stay outta my motherfuckin' closet!

I'm just trying to help these people.

Sam Childers

Biff Tannen: Hold on. Let's get this straight. Marty is YOUR kid, not mine. And all the money in the world wouldn't do jack shit for that lazy bum!
Lorraine Baines: Stop it, Biff, just stop it!
Biff Tannen: Look at him. He's a butthead just like his old man was.
Lorraine Baines: Don't you dare speak that way about George! You're not even half the man he was.

Van Wilder: Whoa, trick or treat. What's going on?
Richard: This vaginal discharge won't let us partake in the party.
Van Wilder: Graphic.

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