I... am the Waffler. With my griddle of justice, I BASH the enemy in the head, or I burn them like so! I also have some truth syrup, which is low in fat.

Waffler

Ah! My ass is on fire! My ass is on fire! Spank my ass. Spank my ass!

Jonathan Carnahan

Therapist: We have some new-comers here today. Please say hello to Scott and his father Mr... Ev-ille?
Dr. Evil: Evil, Actually, Dr. Evil.
The Group: Hello, Scott. Hello, Dr. Evil.
Scott Evil: Hi, everybody.

You're probably drumming your fingernails on the white linen tablecloth the way you do when you're really feeling down. Perhaps even looking at those nails thinking, "God, I should have stopped in all my evil plotting to have that manicure."

George Downes

That's the way things go

Joe Gordon

I always wanted to try this...

Donatello

But you're never going to be the same person you are right now. Promise and potential are very fickle.

Professor Stephen Malley

T.S. Quint: How easily do you quit? Say you wind up with one of us?
Brodie: Hopefully not Rush Limbaugh over here.
Gil Hicks: Well, now, I'm not like Rush Limbaugh.
Brodie: Well, why not? Because he's fat? Now you have something against fat people, too?

Family Feud Steve Harvey, how could he throw us under the bus like that?!

Cedric

[to Bilbo] Farewell, Master Burglar. Go back to your books, your fireplace. Plant your trees, watch them grow. If more of us valued home above gold, it would be a merrier world.

Thorin Oakenshield

I , Jackie Moon, will wrestle a bear.

Jackie Moon

They think we're Arab. When did Persian become Arab?

Shereen

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