Cedric: Mike, how old is your mom?
Cedric: I'm not saying it like that. No, I am. I am. It's like that. Ms. Loretta, I'm ready for the rest of the tour!
Receptionist: Does he have Alzheimer's?
David Grant: No, he just believes what people tell him.
Receptionist: That's too bad.
Hotel Manager: Have you tried looking under the bed?
Meg Swan: Of course I've looked under the bed, of course I've looked under the bed. That's where you look when you lose things.
Major Strasser: [arriving too late to stop Victor Laszlo from escaping] What was the meaning of that phone call?
Captain Renault: [pointing to the plane] Victor Laszlo is on that plane.
Major Strasser: [after looking at the plane] Why do you stand here? Why don't you stop him?
Captain Renault: Ask Mr. Rick.
Rick: [sees Strasser begin to move toward the telephone, and draws a gun] Get away from that phone!
Major Strasser: I would advise you not to interfere.
Rick: I was willing to shoot Captain Renault and I'm willing to shoot you.
Major Strasser: [picks up the telephone] Hello?
Rick: Put that phone down!
Major Strasser: Get me the radio tower.
Rick: PUT IT DOWN!
Captain Renault: Major Strasser's been shot.
Captain Renault: Round up the usual suspects.
Stephanie: [to Luke, at the Fire Island beach:] I see the dopeness in everything, and you just see the wackness.
Winifred: Dear, haven't you forgotten something?
Colonel Hathi: Nonsense, Winifred, old girl. An elephant never forgets.
Winifred: Well, you just forgot our *son*!
There's always a bigger fish.Qui-Gon Jinn
Hud: Do you guys remember a couple of years ago when that guy was lighting homeless people on fire in the subways?
Rob Hawkins: Jesus, Hud! Maybe not the best time for this conversation down here!
[awkward silent pause]
Hud: I just can't stop thinking how scary it'd be if a flaming homeless guy came running...
Rob Hawkins, Lily Ford, Marlena Diamond: HUD!
Hud: I'm just saying. Sorry.
Messala: Look to the West, Judah! Don't be a fool, look to Rome!
Judah Ben-Hur: I would rather be a fool than a traitor... or a killer!
Messala: I am a soldier!
Judah Ben-Hur: Yes! Who kills! For Rome! Rome is evil!
Messala: I warn you...
Judah Ben-Hur: No! I warn you! Rome is an affront to God! Rome is strangling my people and my country, the whole Earth! But not forever. I tell you the day Rome falls there will be a shout of freedom such as the world has never heard before!
Kirk Lazarus: [Alpa reveals he is gay] It's Hollywood, man! Everyone turns gay at some point!
Alpa Chino: I'm not gay! I love tha pussy!
So what's more likely? That an all-powerful, mysterious God created the Universe, and decided not to give any proof of his existence? Or, that He simply doesn't exist at all, and that we created Him, so that we wouldn't have to feel so small and alone?Ellie Arroway
Johnny Rico: These are the rules. Everybody fights, nobody quits. If you don't do your job I'll kill you myself. Welcome to the Roughnecks
Private Sugar Watkins: Rico's Roughnecks