Bitsey Bloom: You know you are in the bible belt when there are more churches than Starbucks.
Zack: When there are more prisons than Starbucks.

I just couldn't stand to see that man take away your dignity.

Christine

Jay: So what's up? You got a friend for Silent Bob, or are you just gonna do us both? If so, I'm first. I hate sloppy seconds.
Bethany: You're a man of principle.

Winnie: [on seeing Eggs rubbing his crotch] No!... You don't scratch there in public. That's why they're called
Winnie: privates.

I never wash my pants. I like to keep the night on them.

Nick

Dudley Frank: [upon seeing Maggie] She's perfect for me. I wanted to say something funny, but all I could think of was black jokes.
Bobby Davis: Do tell... which ones? Why don't you tell the one that ends with me beating your ass?

Of course, I may bring a boyfriend home occasionally, but only occasionally, because I do think that one ought to go to the man's room if one can. I mean, it doesn't look so much as if one expected it, does it?

Sally

Ken: Your girlfriend's very pretty.
Jimmy: She's ain't my girlfriend. She's a prostitute I just picked up.
Ken: I was not aware that there were any prostitutes in Bruges.
Jimmy: You just have to look in the right places... brothels are good.
Ken: Well, you've picked up a very pretty prostitute.
Jimmy: Thank you.

Judge Stevens: Mr. Reede, do we have a setlement?
Fletcher: Noooo!

In my life I find that memories of the spirit linger and sweeten long after memories of the brain have faded.

Narrator

Have a drink with your old man. Be somebody!

Woody Grant

I don't get that close to the glass until I'm on the floor.

Bob

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