How, in the name of Zeus's butthole, did you get out of your cell?Stanley Goodspeed
I thought the punishment usually came after the crime.Steve Rogers
Carl Showalter: I want to go somewhere where I can get a shot and a steak, maybe, not more fuckin' pancakes, c'mon. Come on, man! Alright ... here's an idea. I know this place outside of Brainerd where we can get laid, what do you think?
Gaer Grimsrud: I'm fucking hungry now, you know.
[to Vanko] You look like you have friends in low places...Tony Stark
John Mason: Are you sure you're ready for this?
Stanley Goodspeed: I'll do my best.
John Mason: Your best? Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen.
Stanley Goodspeed: Carla was the prom queen.
John Mason: Really?
Stanley Goodspeed: [cocks his gun] Yeah.
Lucky Day: Not so fast El Guapo! Or I'll pump you so full of lead you'll be using your dick for a pencil!
El Guapo: What do you mean?
Lucky Day: I don't know.
Jefe: I think he means that if you...
El Guapo: Shut up!
Principal SS Officer: You have the diary in your pocket.
Professor Henry Jones: You dolt. You think my son would be that stupid; he would bring my diary all the way back here?
Van Wilder: What's that intoxicating scent you're wearing Doris?
Ms. Doris Haver: I have cats.
Van Wilder: Meow!
Barbara: We're very unhappy.
Juno: What did you expect? You're dead.
"Do you suppose we'll meet any wild animals?"Dorothy
Bumper: Well, well, well, look who's in Treble!
Donald: Ah, classic pun.
Bumper: I know.