Riff: Four-and-a-half years I live wit' a buddy an' his family. I think I'm diggin' a guy's character... Boy, I'm a victim of disappointment in you.
Tony: End ya sufferin', little man. Why dontcha just pack up ya gear an' move out?
Riff: 'Cause ya ma's hot fa me...

Buck Laughlin: Doctor, question that's always bothered me and a lot of people: Mayflower, combined with Philadelphia - a no-brainer, right? Cause this is where the Mayflower landed. Not so. It turns out Columbus actually set foot somewhere down in the West Indies. Little known fact.

What can you expect when you're on top? You know? It's like Napoleon. When he was the king, you know, people were just constantly trying to conquer him, you know, in the Roman Empire. So, it's history repeating itself all over again.


You better hit those bunks my little babies, or Sergeant Hulka with the BIG TOE is gonna see how far he can stick it up your ass.

Sergeant Hulka

Your watch is stuck in my pubes.

Deputy Trudy Wiegel

Brace yourselves, I think you're about to witness a murder.

Doug Carlin

Shelley: [puts on Natalie's glasses] God, you need to go to the eye doctor!
Natalie: I did. That's where I got my glasses.

Ramada Thompson: You were discharged from the service 18 months ago for willful insubordination. You disobeyed a direct order and lost a $13 million fighter in the process.
Topper Harley: Yes, I did. But I'm paying it off at ten bucks a week. And I wouldn't be doing that if I'd gotten that extra collision coverage.

One Two: Well what do you want?
Stella: You.
One Two: Well you had better come in then.

Curtis: Do you guys know 'Minnie the Moocher'?
Murph: I once knew a hooker named Minnie Mazola!

Nick Rice: You end this!
Clyde Shelton: [smiles] I'm just gettin' warmed up.

Lena: How do you say "lost pants" in Greek?
Yia Yia: Greek girls do not lose their pants!

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