Rose, do you know why I like to have you serve me beer? So as I can watch you when you walk away.

Sergeant Milton Warden

Did you know that the institution of marriage was created when the average person lived to the age of 30.


You don't misbehave here. It's just not done, did you know that? If you don't go to confession, if you don't... dig your flowerbeds, or if you don't pretend, if you don't pretend... that you want nothing more in your life than to serve your husband three meals a day, and give him children, and vacuum under his ass, then... then you're... then you're crazy.


C.D. Bales: [the first time Chris sees C.D.'s nose] It's hypnotic, isn't it?
Chris McConnell: It's huge! It's enormous! It's gigantic! I mean, they said it was big, but I didn't expect it to be BIG!

Karen: Why are you dressed so scary?
Cady: It's Halloween.

I'm a snow beast!

Toula Portokalos

I'm going to find it and I'm going to destroy it. I don't know how yet. Possibly with dynamite.

Steve Zissou

Flounder: I can't believe I threw up in front of Dean Wormer.
Boon: Face it, Kent. You threw up ON Dean Wormer.

Wayne: Our enemy is wicked, so...
J.D.: Dude, she's Freddy Krueger.
Wayne: Damien.
J.D.: Dude, she's Vader.
Wayne: No! She's the Emperor.
J.D.: Yeah, but with really great tits.
Wayne: Ok, now Sandy, that girl, she's a real nice girl.
J.D.: Ah, yeah.
Wayne: She's a sweetheart.
J.D.: Dude, a saint.
Wayne: A goddess.
J.D.: A princess.
Wayne: No what? She's kinda like Mother Teresa.
J.D.: Yeah, but with way better tits.

I just want it to be perfect for every kid!


Stanley Goodspeed: Mason, you all right?
John Mason: [hanging upside down] Yes. Perfectly okay, you fucking idiot.

Mordecai: Do you want to know my name?
LeeJohn: I don't just want to know your name, I want you to whisper it in my ear.
Mordecai: MORDECAI!

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