Gubmint do take a bite, don't she?

Payroll Cashier

Guy named Otto Octavius winds up with eight limbs. What are the odds?

J. Jonah Jameson

Ty Webb: Guys, don't include me in this.
Al Czervik: Come on, Ty, you're an ace. Everybody knows it.
Ty Webb: I don't play golf, for money, against people.
Al Czervik: What are you, religious or something?
Ty Webb: You might say that.

Jacob: "Guys! This is scientifically possible."
Lou: "Oh, my god. Okay, Professor Hawking, tell me in your robot voice how this is scientifically possible."

Clarice Starling: [Hannibal Lecter has escaped] He won't come after me.
Ardelia Mapp: Oh really. How do you know?
Clarice Starling: He won't. I can't explain it... he - he would consider that rude.

He called me a baboon, he thinks I'm his wife.

Al Czervik

He may have my soul, but he doesn't have my spirit.

Johnny Blaze

Rufus: He still digs humanity, but it bothers Him to see the shit that gets carried out in His name - wars, bigotry, televangelism. But especially the factioning of all the religions. He said humanity took a good idea and, like always, built a belief structure on it.
Bethany: Having beliefs isn't good?
Rufus: I think it's better to have ideas. You can change an idea. Changing a belief is trickier. Life should malleable and progressive; working from idea to idea permits that. Beliefs anchor you to certain points and limit growth; new ideas can't generate. Life becomes stagnant.

He turned down a blow job from his ex-girlfriend. You know what that does to a man? It's called blue balls. He's like Gandhi! But better - he likes puppets!

Dwayne the Bartender

He wants the precious. Always he is looking for it. And the precious is wanting to go back to him... But we mustn't let him have it.


Stu Price: He was a bartender, and he didn't even come inside her.
Phil Wenneck: And you believe that?
Stu Price: Uh yeah, because she's grossed out by semen!

Jackson Bentley: Yes, it was my privilege to know him and to make him known to the world. He was a poet, a scholar and a mighty warrior. Jackson Bentley: He was also the most shameless exhibitionist since Barnum & Bailey.

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