Bilbo Baggins: Could you tell the others I say goodbye?
Balin: Tell them yourself.
Bilbo Baggins: If you ever pass through Bag End, tea is at four. You are welcome ANY time. Don't bother knocking!

Oh: I'm a virgin by choice.
Zed: Ha. Not your choice!

Van Wilder: I'm all out of love. I'm so lost without you. I know you were right. Believing for so long.
Sally: Dope song. What's it called?
Van Wilder: Gwen Used Me For Her Story, Then Married an Ass Wipe... and Ran Over My Heart With a Big Metaphorical Truck. Originally performed by Air Supply.

I'm gonna go upstairs and pay a visit to the shower fairy.

Greg Focker

I'm gonna tell you something. Somebody messes with me, I'm gonna mess with with him. Somebody steals from me, I'm gonna say you stole. Not talk to him for spitting on the sidewalk. Understand? Now, I have done nothing to harm these people but they are angered with me, so what do they do, doctor up some income tax, for which they have no case. To speak to me like me, no, to harass a peaceful man. I pray to god if I ever had a grievance I'd have a little more self respect. One more thing, you have an all out prize fight, you wait until the fight is over, one guy is left standing. And that's how you know who won.

Capone

I'm like the fucking Vietcong, man, all right? I'm in and I'm out. I was there the whole time. You don't know it, all right? That's the fuckin' art of becoming somebody who people can pin their beliefs and their dreams on.

Irving Rosenfeld

Kelly: I'm under Evelyn Waugh.
Charlotte: Evelyn Waugh was a man.

In America, it's bling bling. But out here it's bling bang.

Danny Archer

It was one of those days when it's a minute away from snowing and there's this electricity in the air, you can almost hear it. And this bag was, like, dancing with me. Like a little kid begging me to play with it. For fifteen minutes. And that's the day I knew there was this entire life behind things, and... this incredibly benevolent force, that wanted me to know there was no reason to be afraid, ever. Video's a poor excuse, I know. But it helps me remember... and I need to remember... Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world I feel like I can't take it, like my heart's going to cave in.

Ricky Fitts

[on parenting] It's like your Aunt Edna's ass. It goes on forever and it's just as frightening.

Frank

Barbossa: It's not possible!
Jack Sparrow: Not probable.

It's true, you are a good woman. Then again, you may be the antichrist.

Doc Holliday

FREE Movie Newsletter