Harold: Officer, I'm glad you're here. You ever heard of that show, Doogie Houser, MD?
Officer Palumbo: Yeah, what great show. Doogie.
Harold: Neil Patrick Harris just stole my car.
Officer Palumbo: Hey! NPH wouldn't do that, 'ight!

Jack Ryan: Is there a way you could get me on board the Dallas?
Admiral Josh Painter: What the hell for?
Jack Ryan: I think that Captain Mancuso has found the Red October.

Peter Quill: I think she likes me.
Rocket Raccoon: You got issues, Quill.

Man, there is some talent here. You get those girls together with those assbags right there and shoot 'em humping at, like, a football game or at a prom, that video would sell. Fuck, I'm good! How do I get these ideas? It's like a gift, you know? It's like I can't control it.

Kelly

I only have 1,123,581 most important things to talk to you about...

Pepper Potts

Topper Harley: Can you save him?
Doctor: Can't be sure. I'm not a very good doctor.

Carol Connelly: Do you have any control over how creepy you allow yourself to get?
Melvin Udall: Yes I do, as a matter of fact. And to prove it, I have not gotten personal, and you have.

Hegep: Is there anything I can do to please you?
Moses: You can stop living like a king. You're not one.

Ricky Slade: Excuse me Honey, umm, where the drinks are concerned, is that a hidden tax? Does that fall under complementary up front service as well or is that something you pay for?
Flight Attendent: Oh no, no, they're complementary. Would you care for another one?
Ricky Slade: They're complementary?
Flight Attendent: Yes.
Ricky Slade: You bet your ass I would.

Hooper: Dammit, Martin! This is compressed air!
Brody: Well, what the hell kind of a knot was that?
Hooper: You pulled the wrong one. You screw around with these tanks, and they're gonna blow up!
Quint: Yeah, that's real fine expensive gear you brought out here, Mr. Hooper. 'Course I don't know what that bastard shark's gonna do with it, might eat it I suppose. Seen one eat a rockin' chair one time. Hey chieffy, next time you just ask me which line to pull, right?

Ben Gates: The preservation room. Enjoy. Go ahead. Do you know what the preservation room is for?
Riley Poole: Delicious jams and jellies?

Her husband was too drunk to know he was too drunk to drive.

Charles

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