Lewis Rothschild: Mood swings? Nineteen post-graduate degrees in mathematics, and your best explanation for going from a 63 to a 46 percent approval rating in five weeks is mood swings?
Leon Kodak: Well, I could explain it better, but I'd need charts, and graphs, and an easel.

God was showing off when he made you.

Rabbi Jake Schram

[at board meeting] I'd like to move us right to Peter Gibbons. We had a chance to meet this young man, and boy that's just a straight shooter with upper management written all over him.

Bob Slydell

Lisa Houseman: Oh, my God. Look at that! Ma, I should have brought my coral shoes. You said I was taking too much!
Marjorie Houseman: Well, sweetheart, you brought ten pairs.
Lisa Houseman: But the coral shoes match that dress!
Jake Houseman: This is not a tragedy. A tragedy is three men trapped in a mine, or police dogs used in Birmingham.
Baby: Monks burning themselves in protest.
Lisa Houseman: Butt out, Baby.

Charlotte: So, what are you doing here?
Bob: Uh, a couple of things. Taking a break from my wife, forgetting my son's birthday. And, uh, getting paid two million dollars to endorse a whiskey when I could be doing a play somewhere.
Charlotte: Oh.
Bob: But the good news is the whiskey works.

Frodo: Sméagol?
Sam: We're not going to wait for you. Come on.
Smeagol: Master. Master looks after us. Master wouldn't hurt us.
Gollum: Master broke his promise.

David Seville: You know, if I were to make a list of the worst days of my life, guess what? This day would be on top of the list!
Alvin: And it's still early!

Jane's Aunt: Must be so hard to watch your younger sister get married before you.
Jane: Yes. Then I remember that I still get to have hot hate sex with random strangers and I feel SO much better!

Max Fischer: What was your major?
Rosemary Cross: I didn't have a major, but my thesis was on Latin American economic policy.
Max Fischer: Oh, that's interesting. Did you hear that they're not going to teach Latin anymore?
Rosemary Cross: This was more like Central America.

Duke: I was just going for a walk. I couldn't sleep.
Nurse Esther: You were going to see Miss Allie. Now you know you're not allowed. It's against the rules. You go back to your room. And as for me, I'm going downstairs to get a cup of coffee and won't be back for a while. Stay out of trouble.

This is no dream! This is really happening!

Rosemary Woodhouse

Please keep your hands and feet inside the shell at all times.


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