Like anything worth writing, it came inexplicably and without method.

Karen Eiffel

David: Why do you think your people made me?
Charlie Holloway: We made ya 'cause we could.
David: Can you imagine how disappointing it would be for you to hear the same thing from your creator?

As far as I'm concerned that man's whole body is property of the US Army.

Gen. Thaddeus 'Thunderbolt' Ross

Robin McCall: It's Christmas.
Lewis Rothschild: It's Christmas?
Leon Kodak: Yeah. You didn't get the memo?

Frank Costello: But Colin - I hope I don't have to remind you that if you don't find that cheese-eating rat bastard in your department, most likely it won't be me who suffers for it.
Colin Sullivan: Now why would you have to remind me of that? Would I be any good at what I do if I didn't fucking already know that? Frank, you gotta trust me. Alright, just trust me Frank. Hey, it fucking involves lying and I'm pretty fucking good at that. Right?
Frank Costello: Maybe because it's always been so easy for me to get cunt, that I never understood jacking off in a theater.

Morgan, after you were born, the doctor gave you to your mother. When she first looked at you, you just stared right back. You both just stared at each other for longest time, and you didn't even cry.

Graham Hess

Joseph Dunn: Do you think you could beat up Bruce Lee?
David Dunn: No.
Joseph Dunn: I mean, if you knew karate?
David Dunn: Nope.
Joseph Dunn: What if he wasn't allowed to kick, and you were really mad at him?
David Dunn: No, Joseph.

You know Snook, you talk a lot of shit for someone who never says anything.


Lisa: What color is your dress?
Donna: It's a champagne color. Then it's a little sexy.

Reuben Tishkoff: Frank, come on let me in.
Turk Malloy: How do you think it feels when you're sitting down on the toilet and someone's banging on the door?
Reuben Tishkoff: Well, I gotta sit down on the toilet or else I'm gonna shit on your feet.

[last lines]
JB: Do not make a sound unless it's a masterpiece. Not a fuckin' sound.
KG: [farts] Thought I felt something.
JB: Let's hear that back.

Elinor Dashwood: Margaret has always wanted to travel.
Edward Ferrars: I know. She's heading an expedition to China shortly. I'm to go as her servant. But only on the understanding that I am to be very badly treated.
Elinor Dashwood: What will your duties be?
Edward Ferrars: Sword fighting, obviously, administering rum and swabbing.
Elinor Dashwood: And which of these will take precedence?
Edward Ferrars: Swabbing, I imagine.

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