Oh, now I see what you're saying. It had to be Professor Plum in the Library with the candlestick.


Micro changes in air density, my ass.


I know what I want, because I have it in my hands right now. You.

Gerry Kennedy

We're not your classic heros. We're the other guys.

The Shoveller

Kumar: I forgot my cell phone.
Harold: You wanna run back and get it?
[both turn and look at their front door 20 feet from them]
Kumar: No, we've gone too far.

Burt Hadley: What's it like?
Leonard Shelby: It's like waking. Like you just woke up.
Burt Hadley: That must suck.

What's the point of having an Internet connection if you're not using it to look up weird, fucked-up pictures of dirty sex you'd never have yourself?

Randal Graves

You gonna do somethin'? Or are you just gonna stand there and bleed?

Wyatt Earp

Briony Tallis, aged 13: Lola, can I tell you something? Something really terrible?
Lola Quincey: Yes please.
Briony Tallis, aged 13: What's the worse word you can possibly imagine?

[to Satipo] Adios, stupido...


[Silent Bob is trying to levitate a cigarette]
T.S. Quint: What's he doing?
Jay: Shithead here watched Empire and Jedi last week and ever since then, he's been trying to do the Jedi mind trick. The crazy fuck thinks he can levitate shit with his thoughts.
[slaps the cigarette out of Silent Bob's hand]
Jay: Knock it off.
Brodie: [to Silent Bob] The force is strong with this one.
Jay: Dude, don't encourage him.

What makes you think you're stronger than the very momentum of history?

Erich Fellgiebel

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