Navin R. Johnson: [outside now] And I don't need one other thing, except my dog.
[Shithead growls at him]
Navin R. Johnson: I don't need my dog.

Russell Ziskey: John, do you think I'm officer material?
John Winger: God, I'm worried about you.
Russell Ziskey: Come on! I'm in good shape, I'm walking tall, I'm looking good. First weekend in Europe.
John Winger: Yeah. We're spending it in an airplane hangar... guarding a truck!
Russell Ziskey: We've got each other.

Do you like your quasi-futuristic clothes Mr. Powers? I designed them myself.

Dr. Evil

Beaumont: What's goin' on?
Seaman Jones: Russian captains sometime turn suddenly to see if anyone's behind them. We call it "Crazy Ivan." The only thing you can do is go dead. Shut everything down and make like a hole in the water.
Beaumont: So what's the catch?
Seaman Jones: The catch is, a boat this big doesn't exactly stop on a dime... and if we're too close, we'll drift right into the back of him.

[in the middle of a class lecture] Rock stars have kidnapped my son!

Elaine Miller

[looking through the medicine cabinet] How do you live in New York and not have a single percocet?

Junior

You think you're going bowling now?

Stella

Its not on the one, its not the mambo, it's a feeling, a heartbeat.

Johnny

Jonathan Moxon your are under arrest for not being naked with some sophomore chick who wants to bathe you with her tongue, now take off your clothes and get in the car.

Charlie Tweeder

They went with someone who had more theme-park experience.

Rob

[Don's about to start shooting a new movie]
Cosmo Brown: What's this one about?
Don Lockwood: It's a French revolution story...
Cosmo Brown: Don't tell me. You're a French aristocrat, she's a simple girl of the people, and she won't even give you a tumbrel. Hah!

I suspect that we are ill-formed for the path we have chosen. Ill-formed and ill-prepared. We would like to draw a veil over all the blood and terror that have brought us to this place. It is our faintness of heart that would close our eyes to all of that, but in so doing it makes of it our destiny... But nothing is crueler than a coward, and the slaughter to come is probably beyond our imagining.

Malkina

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