[after Al tells him that professional wrestling is fake] Uh, Al, I know you must be smart because you have a scientific-style job, but if this shit is fake and everyone knows it's fake, why the hell would anybody waste their time watching it?

The Kid

You can't find something if you don't know what you're looking for.

Emma

What the hell is going on! I mean what the hell is going on!

Valentine McKee

Robbie Turner: I'm sorry, you weren't meant to see that. It was the wrong version.
Cecilia Tallis: What was in the right one?
Robbie Turner: It was...
Cecilia Tallis: Not so anatomical?

Its gonna be a really tough project, you're gonna have to use your head, your brain and your mind too.

Dewey Finn

Sergeant, make sure he doesn't get away.

James Bond

Percy Wetmore: Deranged killer? He look more like a limp noodle to me. Hey!
[to a doped Wild Bill]
Percy Wetmore: You've been declared competent, son, 'know what that means? 'Means you gonna ride the lightning. Haha.
Dean Stanton: Percy, shut up and give us a hand.

DJ Ruby Rhod: We'll find out everything there is to know about the D man: his dreams, his desires, his most intimates of intimates, and from what I'm looking at, "intimate" is the stud muffin's middle name. So tell me my man, are you nervous in the service?
Korben Dallas: Mmm... not really.

Otter: He can't do that do that to our pledges.
Boon: Only we can do that to our pledges.

Shaun: Hey guys, what's up?
Chad: Hey, what's up dude? Hey dude, check this out. Last night we're at this party, and little Arlo here,he decides to like confess his undying love to me. Did I tell ya he was a fruitcake or what?
Arlo: Bro, that's not true. This is the real story dude. Chad crashed at my house right, and I woke up in the night, he wa fondling my...
Chad: Dude, I lost my keys. I was looking for 'em.

Don't laugh, I'm being cool.

Chappie

Town Clerk: Jack Sparrow.
Jack Sparrow: Captain... Captain Jack Sparrow.
Town Clerk: ...for your willful commission of crime against the crown. Those crimes being numerous in quantity and sinister in nature...
Elizabeth: This is wrong...
Governor Swann: Commodore Norrington is bound by the law, as are we all.
Town Clerk: ...impersonating an officer of the Royal Navy; impersonating a clergy of the Church of England...
Jack Sparrow: Oh yeah, heh heh

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