Sister Doris: Do you like birthday parties, Leonard... I mean, LeeJohn?
LeeJohn: I don't know. I never had one.
Sister Doris: You never had a birthday party?
LeeJohn: When they took me to my foster home, they lost my birth certificate. So, nobody never knew when my birthday was.
Sister Doris: Aww... I know when it is.
LeeJohn: You do? When?
Sister Doris: Today!

Roland: What are you doing?
William: Losing.
Roland: I don't understand!
William: Neither do I.

I'm sure you guys were talking about pirogies and snow but let's cut that out.

Worm

Great, snakes on crack.

Nelville Flynn

John Bridger: I'm sending you something.
Stella Bridger: Does it smell nice?
John Bridger: No. But it's sparkly.
Stella Bridger: [sounding slightly angry] Does it have a receipt?

Lou: [Lou hits Tyler in the face] Do you hear me now?
Tyler Durden: No, I didn't quite catch that, Lou.
[Lou hits Tyler again]
Tyler Durden: Still not getting it.
[Lou hits Tyler a few more times]
Tyler Durden: Ok, I got it. Shit, I lost it.
[Lou continues to beat up Tyler]

Deckard: [getting up to leave] I was quit when I come in here, Bryant, I'm twice as quit now.
Bryant: Stop right where you are! You know the score, pal. You're not cop, you're little people!
[Deckard stops at the door]
Deckard: No choice, huh?
Bryant: [smiles] No choice, pal.

I saw your last fight, Shawrelle. Spent so much time face down I thought the canvas had titties.

Maggie Fitzgerald

Uh, well, sir, I ain't a f'real cowboy. But I am one helluva stud!

Joe Buck

Eli: Did I hit the dog?
Chas: Yeah.
Eli: Is he dead?
Chas: Yeah.
Eli: I need help.

Jake: The team? You guys are fuckin' insane. All right, I'll go back to the Valley. I'll cut parking tickets. Why does it have to be this way?
Alonzo: I'm sorry I exposed you to it, but it is. It's ugly, but it's necessary... Sometimes you gotta have a little dirt on you for anybody to trust you.

Well it's about time, I haven't thrown up in about an hour.

Rockhound

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