Kyle: You have cancer?
Adam: They found it yesterday.
Kyle: They found it yesterday? Who found it?
Adam: My cleaning lady found it in the back of my jeans. Who do you think found it?

Ever since this masquerade bash, it's like I'm the Anti-Midas, and everything I touch turns to crap.

Ashley Albright

Charles: We were buying her a wedding dress.
David: Pathetic excuse. Who's she marrying?
Charles: Some total penis.
David: What is it about penises that they get such great wives?

What'd you think, son? That I was just some crazy old coot, putting everyone in harm's way as I yelled "YEE-HA!"?

Capt. Ramsey

Dr. Max Patel: Grace, this is Jake Sully.
Jake Sully: Madame.
Dr. Grace Augustine: Yeah, yeah, I know who you are and I don't need you. I need your brother. You know, the PHD who trained for 3 years for this mission.
Jake Sully: He's dead. I know it's a big inconvenience for everyone.
Dr. Grace Augustine: How much lab training have you had?
Jake Sully: I dissected a frog once.

Bill: You hocked a Hattori Hanzon Sword?
Budd: Yep.
Bill: It was priceless.
Budd: Well, not in El Paso, it ain't. In El Paso I got me $250 for it.

Pardon my French!

Earl Bassett

The castle beckons, I think Tom.


Sarah: I don't know what to say.
John J. Rambo: Then you shouldn't say anything, should you?

...did I ever tell you about the first time I did heroin?


John McClane: You would have made a pretty good cowboy yourself, Hans.
Hans Gruber: What was it you said to me earlier? "Yippie-kay-ya, motherfucker."

Professor Henry Jones: Marcus.
Marcus Brody: Aah.
Professor Henry Jones: Genius of the res-to-ration.
Marcus Brody: Aid our own re-sus-ci-tation. Henry, what are you doing here?
Professor Henry Jones: It's a rescue. Come on.

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