Reporter: Do you think these haircuts have come to stay?
Ringo: Well, this one has. You know, it's stuck on good and proper now.
[seeing his "sail" fall over] This could work! This could work...Chuck Noland
Oh what a day, what a lovely day!Nux
Go home. Movie's over. Get the fuck out of here.Sergio Roma
Tranny Hooker: [Kid and Razor are dressed in green catsuits] You two some kind of superheroes?
Billy 'The Kid' McDonnen: Yeah, I'm the Green Champion and he's the Emerald Superpussy.
Sandy: Carl I want you to kill all the gophers on the golf course
Carl Spackler: Correct me if I'm wrong Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers they'll lock me up and throw away the key.
Sandy: Not golfers, you great fool. Gophers. The *little* *brown*, *furry* *rodents*.
Carl Spackler: We can do that. We don't even need a reason.
What kind of a fucked up tour is this?Tourist
Rabbi: Of course, the men will wear yarmulkes...
Tom: Definitely, I'll wear mine...
Violet: Babe, you don't have a yarmulke...
Tom: I have a whole...it's in my... my Jewish drawer.
Greg Focker: Hey whats the good word grandpa Jack?
Jack Byrnes: This is Jack Byrnes
Greg Focker: Yeah I know, I can tell from the caller ID.
Guys, there's going to be some haters out there. They're going to look at us, Team USA, and be like, 'Why is the most talented one Australian?'Fat Amy
[Ray Castro is smoking]
Montel Gordon: You should really try a patch.
Ray Castro: Oh man, that shit doesn't work.
Montel Gordon: It worked for my cousin.
Ray Castro: Yeah?
Montel Gordon: Well he had to wear about 6 at a time, but it worked.
Ray Castro: So how is he now?
Montel Gordon: Oh he's dead.
Ray Castro: He's dead?
Montel Gordon: It wasn't because of the patch, man.
Ray Castro: So how did he die?
Montel Gordon: His wife shot him.
Harry: I didn't mean to blow her up, I just... lost control.
Hermione: Honestly Ron, it's not funny! Harry was lucky not to be expelled.
Harry: I think I was lucky not to have been arrested actually.
Ron: I still think it's brilliant.