Jay: So what's up? You got a friend for Silent Bob, or are you just gonna do us both? If so, I'm first. I hate sloppy seconds.
Bethany: You're a man of principle.

I never wash my pants. I like to keep the night on them.

Nick

Of course, I may bring a boyfriend home occasionally, but only occasionally, because I do think that one ought to go to the man's room if one can. I mean, it doesn't look so much as if one expected it, does it?

Sally

Ken: Your girlfriend's very pretty.
Jimmy: She's ain't my girlfriend. She's a prostitute I just picked up.
Ken: I was not aware that there were any prostitutes in Bruges.
Jimmy: You just have to look in the right places... brothels are good.
Ken: Well, you've picked up a very pretty prostitute.
Jimmy: Thank you.

Mary Jane: What do you see coming for you?
Peter Parker: I don't know. Whatever it is, it's something I never felt before.
Mary Jane: And... what for me?
Peter Parker: For you? You're gonna light up Broadway.

In my life I find that memories of the spirit linger and sweeten long after memories of the brain have faded.

Narrator

Have a drink with your old man. Be somebody!

Woody Grant

I don't get that close to the glass until I'm on the floor.

Bob

Hey, James... you still have anymore of those baby joints?

Mike Connell

Goldstein: Sorry, kids. We ain't goin' nowhere. We're watching 'The Gift'. Supposedly Katie Holmes shows her titties in this movie.
Harold: Is that all you Jews ever think about? Tits?
Rosenberg: Katie Holmes is a nice, respectable, wholesome girl... and I'm gonna see her boobs.
Goldstein: The things I would eat out of her ass! You have no idea!
Rosenberg: Ugh! That is a completely vulgar statement.
Goldstein: So is, "I wanna bang Britney Spears on the bathroom floor," but it's true.
Rosenberg: Touche.

No. Not even in the face of Armageddon. Never compromise.

Rorschach

Don't be so hard on yourself, you got mad skills.

Randy Daytona

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