Marriage Counselor: On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate the happiness of your marriage?
Jane Smith: 8.
John Smith: Wait. Could you clarify? Is 10 the highest? 10 being perfectly happy and 1 being totally miserable or...
Marriage Counselor: Just respond instinctively.
John Smith: Ok. Ready?
Jane Smith, John Smith: 8.

Lucius Fox: So what is it today? More spelunking?
Bruce Wayne: No. Today it's BASE-jumping.
Lucius Fox: BASE-jumping. Is that like parachuting?
Bruce Wayne: Kind of. Do you have any light-weight fabrics?
Lucius Fox: You know... I think I got just the thing.

I'm just a writer, Emma. I don't know what to do to show you how much I love you. I only have words. That's all I have.

Alex Sheldon

Tony Robbins: Hal, don't you think you're being a bit shallow here in the way you look at women?
Hal: Well, no! You know, I'd like her to be into culture and shit, too.
Tony Robbins: Ok Hal, hypothetical situation; Which do you prefer, a girlfriend missing one breast or half a brain?
Hal: Hmmm, toughie. What about the remaining breast? Is it big?

Claudia Wilson Gator: I wanted to do that.
Jim Kurring: Well...
Claudia Wilson Gator: That felt good to do - to do what I wanted to do.

Will Burton: I think you're trying too hard to be like Flea from the Red Hot Chili Peppers.
Bug: That's crazy; I don't even like Flea.
Will Burton: Yeah, what's your name?
Bug: ...Bug.

Wendell: You think this boy Moss got any notion of the sorts that're huntin' him?
Ed Tom Bell: I don't know, he ought to. He's seen the same things I've seen, and it's certainly made an impression on me.

Max Reede: My teacher tells me beauty is on the inside.
Fletcher: That's just something ugly people say.

Robert: Would you like me to call someone for you?
Giselle: I don't think they would hear you from here.

John Smith: That left of yours is a thing of beauty.
Jane Smith: Mmm. You take it well.

John McClane: Freddy, can you trace these guys?
Greg: Mr. McClane, covering the camera does not turn off the microphone.

Hunter: It better not happen again. If I see this kind of nonsense again, I'm going to write you up. You understand?
Petty Officer First Class Danny Rivetti: [No answer]
Hunter: Do you understand?
Petty Officer First Class Danny Rivetti: Yes, Sir.
Hunter: You have to set an example even in the face of stupidity. Everybody who reads comic books knows that the Kirby Silver Surfer is the only true Silver Surfer. Now am I right or wrong?
Petty Officer First Class Danny Rivetti: You're right, Sir.
Hunter: Now get out of here.
Petty Officer First Class Danny Rivetti: Yes, Sir.

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