Ted: Hey, thanks for 9/11.
Indian woman: I'm Indian.
Ted: Yeah, whatever.

Let me put it this way. My horse is definitely not my best friend.

Roy O'Bannon

Oz: [to Theodora] Where's your broom?
Theodora: You don't know much about witches, do you?

[discovers Hostess truck filled with Sno-Balls] Sno-Balls? Sno-Balls? I hate coconut! Not the flavor, but the consistency.

Tallahassee

You talk about vengeance. Is vengeance going to bring your son back to you? Or my boy to me?

Don Corleone

I'm a concert pianist. That's a pretentious way of saying I'm... unemployed at the moment.

Adam Cook

Judy: I love somebody. All the time I've been... I've been looking for someone to love me. And now I love somebody. And it's so easy. Why is it easy now?
Jim Stark: I don't know; it is for me, too.
Judy: I love you, Jim. I really mean it.
Jim Stark: Well, I'm glad.

Ten seconds you won't believe what's gonna happen.

Lee Christmas

This is where they fought the battle of Gettysburg. Fifty thousand men died right here on this field, fighting the same fight that we are still fighting among ourselves today. This green field right here, painted red, bubblin' with the blood of young boys. Smoke and hot lead pouring right through their bodies. Listen to their souls, men. I killed my brother with malice in my heart. Hatred destroyed my family. You listen, and you take a lesson from the dead. If we don't come together right now on this hallowed ground, we too will be destroyed, just like they were. I don't care if you like each other of not, but you will respect each other. And maybe... I don't know, maybe we'll learn to play this game like men.

Coach Boone

Megamind: Quick, disguise.
[Megamind activates a hologram, while Minion puts on an apron and wig]
Minion: What?
Megamind: [sarcastic] You look fantastic.

Old Lorraine: Aren't you and Jennifer getting along?
Middle-Aged Marty: Oh, yeah, Mom. We're like a couple o' teenagers, ya know?

Well, I have all your equipment in my locker. You should probably come get it cause I can't fit my numchucks in there anymore.

Napoleon Dynamite

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