Jay: Yo man, tell me something about me.
Rufus: You masturbate more than anyone on the planet.
Jay: Aww, fuck, everyone knows that. Tell me something nobody knows.
Rufus: When you do it, you're thinking about guys.
[shocked Silent Bob stares at Jay]
Jay: Dude, not all the time.

Rhett Butler: Now that you've got your lumber mill and Frank's money, you won't come to me as you did to the jail, so I see I shall have to marry you.
Scarlett: I never heard of such bad taste.

Taki: What did you think he had? Does he look like a man beaten by jacks?
Zizzo: Jacks are a monster compared to the crap you've played.
Taki: Fuuc you... fuck you...
Zizzo: Fuck Me? Fuck You!

Carl Peterson: What you did in the bathroom last night was disgusting.
Dupree: I know, I'm never eating buffalo wings again.

Jake Hardin: [sees Ashley put in one side of the light bulb] Oh see. She should've turned the light off because now she's going to be...
Ashley Albright: [light sparks] AAAAAAAAAA!
Jake Hardin: ...electrocuted.

J. Jonah Jameson: My god, he was a hero. Spider-man truly was an asset to this city. He was...
J. Jonah Jameson: [the Spider-man costume is gone] ... a thief! A burglar. Get me Spider-man now! I want his head!

Shut up. Don't speak.

Sergio Roma

Hello! Anybody?

Chuck Noland

Hamish: You'll move.
William Wallace: I will not.
Campbell: [Hands Hamish a large stone] He'll move.
[Hamish throws the stone barely missing Wallace. Wallace throws a small stone hitting Hamish between the eyes]
Hamish: I shoulda remembered the rocks.
William Wallace: Aye, you shoulda.

We train young men to drop fire on people, but their commanders won't allow them to write "fuck" on their airplanes because it's obscene!

Kurtz

Bo Peep: This is for Woody, when you find him.
[She gives Buzz a long kiss]
Buzz Lightyear: [cough] Um, okay, but it won't be the same coming from me.

We called him Mother Superior on account of the length of his habit.

Mark "Rent-boy" Renton

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