Kirk Lazarus: Action Jackson can't cry, that's what's going down.
Tugg Speedman: You know what Kirk, I'm ready to do the scene!
Kirk Lazarus: Now it's time to flip the script! I'm gonna have to wait till Chinese New Year for my man to cry.

The Chad... is stuck.


Susan Storm: It's too dangerous for you to go out into public.
Johnny Storm: You've been saying that for years.

Would anyone like... a peanut?


I have something called Osteogenesis Imperfecta. It's a genetic disorder. I don't make a particular protein very well and it makes my bones very low in density... very easy to break.

Elijah Price

Claire Stenwick: I found these in your closet.
Ray Koval: I swear to you I have no idea who they belong to.
Claire Stenwick: Well in that case I'll put them back on.
Ray Koval: You're gaming me?

Harriet Miller: How are we supposed to know what's going on?
Rodney Miller: It's all Greek to me.

[referring to the porno tape on the TV]
Grandma: What channel is this?
Helen: No, grandma, this is a tape.
Grandma: [to Susan] She really needs a man.

Colonel Oates: Get down and give me infinity.
Bill: There is no way we could possibly do infinity push-ups.
Ted: Well maybe if he lets us do them girly-style...

[pointing a gun] Stand away from the meat.


I walked over to the hill where we used to go and sled. There were a lot of little kids there. I watched them flying. Doing jumps and having races. And I thought that all those little kids are going to grow up someday. And all of those little kids are going to do the things that we do. And they will all kiss someone someday. But for now, sledding is enough. I think it would be great if sledding were always enough, but it isn't.


[about Mitch] It seems all his best lines were yours... this is unbearable.


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