Parker: If they find what they're lookin' for out there, that mean we get full shares?
Ripley: Don't worry, Parker, yeah. You'll get whatever's coming to you.
Brett: Look, I'm not gonna do any more work, until we get this straightened out.
Ripley: Brett, you're guaranteed by law to get a share.
Parker: What?
Ripley: Why don't you just fuck off?
Parker: What?
Brett: Uh, what'd you say, Rip?
Ripley: If you have any trouble, I'll be on the bridge.

Ted: Hey, thanks for 9/11.
Indian woman: I'm Indian.
Ted: Yeah, whatever.

Ethan Tremblay: Where's your dad?
Peter Highman: Uh... no idea.
Ethan Tremblay: When's the last time you saw him?
Peter Highman: 1977. He had his bags packed at the door and he picked them up and put in the back of his car. And, uh, drove away. Last time I ever saw him.
Ethan Tremblay: [begins laughing hysterically]
Ethan Tremblay: That's so funny! My dad would never do that, he'd love me.

Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere.

Van Wilder

Joshua: Are you married, Mr. Kimble? Detective
John Kimble: No, I'm not.
Joshua: [shouts] He's not married, Mom!

Don't you get it? You're a rat in a maze.
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George Noyce

Tai: "no s*^t, you guys got coke here?!"
Cher: "well yeah, this is america"

Olaf: I can't feel my legs!
Kristoff: Those are my legs.
Olaf: [as his lower body runs by] Ooh, do me a favor and grab my butt... Ah, that feels better.

Edward Wilson: My orders came through. I'll be going overseas.
Clover Wilson: What are you going to do, Edward? Save the world?
Edward Wilson: I'll do what I can.

A-ca-huddle, now!

Aubrey

The itsy bitsy spider came down the water spout...

Maria Rossi

If you were a dork you should say you're sorry. Girls like that.

Lucy

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