I like smart girls. That's why I married your mama. Well, that and I knocked her up.

Mr. Cavendar

No I will not make out with you. Did ya hear that? this girl wants to make out with me in the middle of class. You got Chlorophyll Man up there talking about God knows what and all she can talk about is making out with me. I'm here to learn, everybody, not to make out with you. Go on with the chlorophyll.

Billy Madison

I'm 546, I'm getting too old for this...

Papa

Billie Frechette: What do you want?
John Dillinger: Everything. Right now.

[to Lisa] You haven't spent much time around cemeteries, have you?

Stella

[to Mia while possessed] May God have mercy on your soul!

Father Perez

Nemo: Hey dad! Maybe when I'm at school, I'll see a shark.
Marlin: I highly doubt it.
Nemo: Have how ever met a shark?
Marlin: No, and I don't plan to.
Nemo: How old are sea turtles?
Marlin: Sea turtles? I don't know.
Nemo: Sandy Plankton from next door, he says they live to be 100.
Marlin: Well, if I ever meet a sea turtle I'll ask him, right after I'm done talking to the shark.

Wolodarsky, go get the keys to that fishing boat, and throw them in the water. No, wait. They might have another set. Just blow it up.

Steve Zissou

Ha-what-what?

Mavis

Lt. Aldo Raine: I need to know about Germans hiding in trees. And you need to tell me right now.
Sgt. Werner Rachtman: I respectfully refuse, sir.
Lt. Aldo Raine: Actually, Werner, we're all tickled to hear you say that. Quite frankly, watching Donny beat Nazi's to death is the closest we ever get to going to the movies.

Trish: Are you out of your mind? What are you doing here?
Han Sing: I missed you.
Trish: You missed me? I'm gonna miss you when my father finds out you're here.

I missed dinner last night because I got drunk with little Irish people.

Frank Falenczyk

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