You gotta hand it to the old girl. I never saw nobody buffalo Bill the way she buffaloed Bill. Bill used to think she was so damn smart. I tried to tell him...”Bill, she's just smart for a blonde."

Budd

[singing] I know I am not a pretty birdy, but I use to be quite a looker.

Nigel

Dr. Paul Flanner: We all make choices, Adrienne. You chose that life, you chose that man. Do you even remember who you really are anymore?
Adrienne Willis: Just stop it.

April: Uh, Jessica has a... problem.
Ling Ling: She's only going to make us wait an hour this time.
Lulu: What about the class trip to Six Flags. She took so long in the bathroom we missed the bus.
Ling Ling: Our parents had to drive three hours to pick us up.
Jessica (in Clive's body): I had my period, OK!

Zoe Perez: Sir, if you're planning on pulling me off the Shaw case...
Defense Secretary Callister: [interrupts] Agent Perez, for the first time, you're being brought in the loop on this one.

The Boy-Who-Lived. How lies have fed your legend, Harry! Do you want to know what really happened thirteen years ago? Shall I divulge how I truly lost my powers? It was love. You see, when sweet, dear, Lily Potter gave her life for her only son, it provided him with the ultimate protection, I could not touch him. It was old magic, something I should have foreseen. But no matter, no matter, things have changed. I CAN TOUCH YOU... NOW! Astounding what a few drops of your blood will do, eh, Harry?

Voldemort

Ava Gardner: You listened to my phone calls?
Howard Hughes: No! No! No! Honey I would never do that! I'd never do that! I... I just read the transcripts, that's all.

Lady, I will break my foot off in your ass!

Hancock

Oooooh! Nice briefcase!

Elle

Well, let's see if you can get this one. I've got a little story for you. All right. There's an old couple in bed. Mary and Paddy. And they wake up on the morning their... fiftieth anniversary. And Mary looks over and gazes adoringly at Paddy, she's like, "Aw, Jesus, Paddy. You're such a good lookin' feller. I love you. I want to give you a little present. Anything your little heart desires, I'm going to give it to ya'. What would you like?" And Paddy's like, "Aw, gee, Mary, that's a very sweet offer. Now, in fifty years, there's one thing that's been missing. And uh... I would like you to give me a blow job. I would like that." And Mary's like, "All right." She takes her teeth out, puts them in the glass and she gives him a blow job. And afterwards, Paddy's like, "Ah, geez, now THAT's what I've been missin'.
That was the most beautiful, Earth-shatterin' thing ever. Beautiful Mary, I love ya'! Is there anything that I can do for you?" And Mary looks up at him and she goes, "Give us a kiss!"

Skylar

Det. Ellie Burr: So, I'm gonna just take you guys over to the lodge, and...
Dormer: Just take us to the station.
Det. Ellie Burr: Right. We need to get started. Most homicides are solved by work done in the first 72 hours.
Dormer: Well, it's 48 hours. We're a day behind. But who's counting?

Virginia McCain: Well, whoever she is, she sure likes to read a lot.
Sheriff John T. 'Buster' McCain: Virginia, I'm flattered that you think I have that kind of energy. I figure that if I can't find Paul Sheldon, at least I'll find out what he wrote about.
Virginia McCain: Well, what do you expect to find? A story about a guy who drove his car off a cliff in a snowstorm?
Sheriff John T. 'Buster' McCain: You see, it's just that kind of sarcasm that's given our marriage real spice.

FREE Movie Newsletter