[Jerry, Henri Baurel and Adam are at the café, talking. Adam desperately tries to prevent the other two men from revealing to each other they love the same woman by distracting them] Did I ever tell you about the time I gave a command performance for Hitler?

Adam Cook

Senior Ed Bloom: I've told you a thousand facts, Will, that's what I do. I tell stories.
Will Bloom: You tell lies, Dad.

But they showed no corrections of any kind. Not one. He had simply written down music already finished in his head. Page after page of it as if he were just taking dictation. And music, finished as no music is ever finished. Displace one note and there would be diminishment. Displace one phrase and the structure would fall.

Salieri

The Joker: Gotham City Cathedral, transportation for two.
Helicopter Goon: Right away, sir?
The Joker: Five minutes.
Helicopter Goon: Okay, five minutes.
[Joker raises his head to look at the top of the Cathedral]
The Joker: Better make it ten.

My mom's been fuckin' a dead guy for 30 years. I call him dad.

Randal Graves

Stephanie: Greg and I are having sex problems.
B. Rabbit: Please, you're not gonna talk to me about that.
Stephanie: Greg won't go down on me.
B. Rabbit: Fuck, mom.

Will Burton: So, how big is this whole bandslam thing around here?
Sam: Texas high school football big.

John Milner: (Expletive)! Hey, get down!
Carol: Hey, is this what they call "copping a feel"?
John Milner: What? No, get up, N-O. Sheezus.
Carol: What's your name?
John Milner: My name? Mud, if anybody sees you.

Sporty Lewis: Is that a ghost I'm seeing? An apparition? Or is it James J. Braddock the Bulldog of Burgen?
Jim Braddock: Sporty Lewis, how ya doing?

Okay. Two of 'em. Both had my father. It's peculiar. I'm older now then he ever was by twenty years. So in a sense he's the younger man. Anyway, first one I don't remember so well but it was about money and I think I lost it. The second one, it was like we was both back in older times and I was on horseback goin' through the mountains of a night. Goin' through this pass in the mountains. It was cold and snowin', hard ridin'. Hard country. He rode past me and kept on goin'. Never said nothin' goin' by. He just rode on past and he had his blanket wrapped around him and his head down and when he rode past I seen he was carryin' fire in a horn the way people used to do and I could see the horn from the light inside of it. About the color of the moon. And in the dream I knew that he was goin' on ahead and that he was fixin' to make a fire somewhere out there in all that dark and all that cold, and I knew that whenever I got there he would be there. Out there up ahead. And then I woke up.

Ed Tom Bell

John McClane: Drop it, dickhead. It's the police.
Tony: You're not going to hurt me.
John McClane: Oh, yeah? Why not?
Tony: Because you're a policeman. There are rules for policemen.
John McClane: Yeah. That's what my captain keeps telling me.

Caitlin Bree: Can I use the bathroom?
Randal Graves: Sure, but there's no light back there.
Caitlin Bree: Why aren't there any lights?
Randal Graves: Well, there are, but for some reason they stop working at 5:14 every night. Nobody can figure it out. And the boss doesn't want to pay the electrician to fix it, because the electrician owes money to the video store.
Caitlin Bree: Such a sordid state of affairs.
Randal Graves: And I'm caught right in the middle - torn between my loyalty to the boss and my desire to piss with the lights on.
Caitlin Bree: Well, I'll try to manage.
Randal Graves: Oh, hey Caitlin, break his heart again this time, and I'll kill ya. Nothing personal.

FREE Movie Newsletter