[running ahead of giant gingerbread man] Run, run as fast as you can!


Ted: Miss Preston, we'd like you to meet some of our friends.
Bill: This is, uh, Dave Beeth Oven.
Beethoven: Sie sind so schön, Madame.
Bill: And, uh, Maxine of Arc, Missy, Herman the Kid...
Ted: Bob "Genghis" Khan, Dennis Frood, So-crates Johnson, and, uh... Abraham Lincoln.
Miss Preston: It's so nice to meet you all. There's sodas in the fridge.

Guard: Are you the real Jack Sparrow?
Captain Jack Sparrow: There should be a Captain in there somewhere.

Remember this well - there shall be no peace as long as Kirk lives.

Klingon Ambassador

I hope, for your sake, that you were initiating a mating ritual.


Time sure flies when you're young and jerking off.

Jim Carroll

Courtney: Why does everyone have to go on a diet?
Sparky: Because! In cheerleading we throw people into the air. Fat people don't go as high.

Carrie Bradshaw: Lets go down to the hotel for dinner tonight, I need to get myself out of my mexacoma.
Samantha Jones: Aww, you made a little joke. Good for you!

Doug Butabi: You can take away our phones and you can take away our keys, but you can NOT take away our dreams.
Steve Butabi: Yeah, because we're, like, sleeping when we have them.

[of Mr. Smith] Even if that guy was charming and funny, I still wouldn't like him.


I'm just going to shoot you once!

Joseph Dunn

You know, I wasn't trying to win you over. I was telling you to fuck off.


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