Kip: It's a time machine, Napoleon. We bought it online.
Napoleon Dynamite: Yeah, right.
Kip: It works, Napoleon. You don't even know.
Cameron: It's about time you realize what it's like to be black.
Christine: Oh, and you're talking about being black? The closest you ever came to being black, Cameron, was watching the Cosby Show.
Cameron: Well, at least I didn't watch it with the rest of the equestrian team.
It's all just... cornflakes.Morty
It's important to have a job that makes a difference, boys. That's why I manually masturbate caged animals for artificial insemination.Caged Animal Masturbator
Connor: It's like a scumbag yard sale.
Murphy: We should come down here once a week and clean house.
It's like every morning I wake up and I FAIL!Rita
It's not contaminated, you don't even know what that word means.Morgan
It's not perfected yet.Q
Its not until you lose everything that you are free to do anythingTyler Durden
I've always thought a good lashing with a buggy whip would benefit you immensely.Rhett Butler
Santa: I've been to New York thousands of times.
Santa: Mmm hmm.
Buddy: What's it like?
Santa: Well, there are some things you should know. First off, you see gum on the street, leave it there. It isn't free candy.
Santa: Second, there are, like, 30 Ray's Pizzas. They all claim to be the original. But the real one's on 11th. And if you see a sign that says "Peep Show," that doesn't mean that they're letting you look at the new toys before Christmas.
[after Melanie tells Andrew that she still loves Jake at the wedding] I've never met anyone so manipulative, so deceitful, and I'm in politics.Mayor Kate Hennings