Until mankind is peaceful enough not to have violence on the news, there's no point in taking it out of shows that need it for entertainment value.Cher
Valentine McKee: STAMPEDE! Stampede, Earl! Get out of the way, get out of the way!
Earl Bassett: You dumb shit. I was in a stampede once. Five hundred head, all hell-bent for the horizon.
Valentine McKee: Now, exactly how many cattle are required for a stampede, Earl? Is it three or more? Is there a minimum to 'pede?
Earl Bassett: I wish they'd stampede up your ass.
Robert Langdon: The ancient male symbol was the blade, it's a basic phallus. It's still used today on military uniforms.
Sir Leigh Teabing: Yes, and the more penises you have, the higher your rank. Boys will be boys!
This is Jason Bourne, the toughest target that you have ever tracked. He is really good at staying alive, and trying to kill him and failing... just pisses him off.Pamela Landy
Marcus Aurelius: Let us pretend that you are a loving daughter, and I am a good father.
Lucilla: This is a pleasant fiction, is it not?
Mary Embrey: Whatever we are, we're built in twos. We're drawn together. No matter how far I run, he's always there! He finds me. It's physics.
Ray Embrey: Wait, what are you saying? Are you saying you two are fated to be together?
Mary Embrey: I've lived for a very long time, Ray. And the one thing I learned - fate doesn't decide everything. People get to choose.
Oh my God! That's the coolest fucking story I've ever heard in my life! Can you tell it again, do you have time?Seth
Tickets? Since when did they start charging for the bus? Didn't we used to ride that shit to school every morning for free?Jay
Annie: Right, I'll just go get my things, and then let's fix the country, shall we?
Prime Minister: Yeah, I can't see why not.
[upon seeing that he was photographed murdering two people]
Mr. Earl Brooks: You see that, Marshall? That's why I didn't want to do the dance couple.
Marshall: Stop your fucking whining, Earl. You enjoyed doing that couple just as much as I did, and look at the bright side - he came to us. He didn't go to the cops. If he tries to shake us down, we kill him. Period. We make it fun, but we kill him! End of story.
Ed: A hunch won't stand up in court, Frank. What we need are hard facts.
Frank: Look, Ed. Ludwig was the only one besides us who knew Nordberg was still alive. Next thing you know, some thug tries to knock him off in the hospital.
Ed: Yeah, but going into Ludwig's office without a warrant, you're taking a big chance.
Frank: I know. You take a chance getting up in the morning, crossing the street or sticking your face in a fan.
Bartleby: You know, here's what I don't get about you. You know for a fact that there is a God. You have been in his presence. He's spoken to you personally, and yet I just heard you claim to be an atheist.
Loki: I just like to fuck with the clergy, man. I just love it. I just love to keep those guys on their toes.