Seven trillion dollar communications system at my disposal, and I can't find out if the Packers won.

President Andrew Shepherd

I don't think I could ever get used to being poked and prodded. I told my proctologist one time, "Why don't you take me out to dinner and a movie sometime?"

Buck Laughlin

King Kong ain't got shit on me!

Alonzo Harris

General Barnicke: Where have you been soldier?
John Winger: Training, sir.
Soldiers: Training, sir.
General Barnicke: What kind of training?
John Winger: Army training, sir.
Soldiers: Army training, sir.

Bo Catlett: You broke into my house, and I have a witness to it.
Chili Palmer: What?
Bo Catlett: Only this time it ain't no John Wayne and Dean Martin shooting bad guys in "El Dorado."
Chili Palmer: That was "Rio Bravo." Robert Mitchum played the drunk in "El Dorado." Dean Martin played the drunk in "Rio Bravo." Basically, it was the same part. Now John Wayne, he did the same in both. He played John Wayne.
Bo Catlett: Man, I can't wait for you to be dead.

There's nothing as pathetic as an aging hipster.

Dr. Evil

For 12 years I was held captive by the humans. The world I once knew has changed. Vampires and Lycans are now the hunted.


Lisa: What color is your dress?
Donna: It’s a champagne color. Then it’s a little sexy.

Welcome to Collinwood. You'll have to imagine us on a better day.

Roger Collins

Yoda: Stopped they must be; on this all depends. Only a fully-trained Jedi Knight, with the Force as his ally, will conquer Vader and his Emperor.
Obi-Wan: Patience.
Luke: And sacrifice Han and Leia?
Yoda: If you honor what they fight for? Yes.

Mowgli: Gee, cousin Louie, you're doing real good.
King Louie: Now here's your part of the deal, cuz. Lay the secret on me of Man's Red Fire.
Mowgli: But I don't know how to make fire.
King Louie: [singing] Now don't try to kid me, Man Cub / I made a deal with you / What I desire is Man's Red Fire / To make my dream come true / Now give me the secret, Man Cub / Come on, clue me what to do / Give me the power of Man's Red Flower / So I can be like you.

Jerry, don't let me leave you this way.

Lise Bouvier

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