That's a record!

Leonard Chess

[to Sweeney] May the good Lord smile on you.

Signor Adolfo Pirelli

TV interviewer: Why do you come to these nights?
Lulu: I'd like to answer that one if I may.
Nina: Sure.
Lulu: To get absolutely trashed.

Colonel Sandurz: Sir, do you think we're being too literal?
Dark Helmet: No you fool, we're following orders. We were told to comb the desert so we're combing it.

Andrew Paxton: [about Margaret] Actually I picked up on all her little hints. This woman is about as subtle as a gun.
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I'm just living the Dream, Baby!

Jedediah

My sweet dick, it's magic!

Patches O'Houlihan

William: For that I say my rosary to her and no-one else.
Wat: William, that's blasphemous.

Davy Jones: Do you feel dead?
Jack Sparrow: You have no idea.

I used to use this gun when I was a prostitute.

Red

If you were in prison, you'd be raped because you exude feminine qualities. You're also a big ole fat piece of ass.

Fred Simmons

Here is the list of things to do while I'm away. Batteries need to be replaced. Toys in the bottom of the chest need to be rotated. Oh, and make sure everyone attends Mr. Spell's seminar on what to do if part of you is swallowed. Okay? Okay, good, okay.

Woody

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