You said to write about what disturbs me, particularly if it bothers no one else.

Eugenia 'Skeeter' Phelan

Deputy Trudy Wiegel: Terry, when you're here, you're an ambassador for Reno.
Terry: Heavy on the assador!

Saruman: We must join with Him, Gandalf. We must join with Sauron. It would be wise, my friend.
Gandalf: Tell me, "friend", when did Saruman the Wise abandon reason for madness?

Police Liaison Officer: What the hell is that? What the hell is that?
Dale Denton: Oh, oh, it's a roach. It's a joint. I have anorexia. Honest I thought it was decriminalized.
Police Liaison Officer: Selling drugs to minors has *not* been decriminalized. I'm the police liaison officer with this school and I just saw a bunch of my kids comin' around the corner with their eyes as red as the devil's dick!

Hitchhiker: Think about it. You walk into a video store, you see 8-Minute Abs sittin' there, there's 7-Minute Abs right beside it. Which one are you gonna pick, man?
Ted: I would go for the 7.
Hitchhiker: Bingo, man, bingo. 7-Minute Abs. And we guarantee just as good a workout as the 8-minute folk.
Ted: You guarantee it? That's - how do you do that?
Hitchhiker: If you're not happy with the first 7 minutes, we're gonna send you the extra minute free. You see? That's it. That's our motto. That's where we're comin' from. That's from "A" to "B".
Ted: That's right. That's - that's good. That's good. Unless, of course, somebody comes up with 6-Minute Abs. Then you're in trouble, huh?

You know, I mean, I didn't do you any favours on that day, ok? I did a stupid, stupid thing. But it was only because I thought spoiling your day was better than ruining your life. Does that make any sense?

Dennis

Agent 47: Nika
Nika Boronina: Yes?
Agent 47: Stop talking or i'll put you back in the trunk.

Jimmy: Meet your groomsmen!
Doug Harris: These guys can not be my groomsmen. It looks like the entire cast of Goonies grew up and became rapists!

You wanna bring a priest to your first good date in two years? What kind of strategy is that?

Father Brian Finn

Indiana Jones: It's disgraceful, you're old enough to be her... her grandfather.
Professor Henry Jones: Well, I'm as human as the next man.
Indiana Jones: Dad, I was the next man.
Professor Henry Jones: Oh. Ships that pass in the night.

Some of the dresses ya' got, ya' need two hairdos to wear.

Roy

Mr. Edwards: Oh, yeah, Clark's a great guy. He'll take good care of Angie.
Dale Denton: You know what, why don't you go fuck yourself, you weird little prick?
Mr. Edwards: Hey, I'm a teacher! You can't say that to me!
Dale Denton: Yeah? Well, I'm not a student here, so I can say whatever the fuck I want, you cheap little bastard!

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